Wedenesdays are rough..

  So this day is hard for me they are never easy and they don't settle well at all.

The morning is rough and he acts differently it's like this day over comes him also.

This day is visit day.
 Visit day with her the only person he has ever known to be safe to him. Would I call it safe absolutely not. It is all he knows though. So this day can never settle well in my heart. I didn't want to write this post because then I have to share my issues and say what my struggle in sin is.

It's extending Grace to her.
 Why should I be nice to her I know what has happened in the past and I know how things have happened. I have struggled with going and taking them. 

So I haven't.

I have made every excuse in the book to go and face her. Because if I do I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to keep from saying something that I shouldn't.

Well yesterday was the day that I had dreaded I had to take them. I already could already tell I was 

feeling anxiety over it.
 So I had to give it to God.

In that I realized God extended Grace on my life that I am not even worthy of. But he thinks I am.

Growing up the way I did I could of ended up like her. I am no different.

God's Grace is what saved me.
 His Grace is free and I choose Grace.

Shame on me for not showing Grace to her when I should of.

I prayed right when I picked them up that I could be a light and not show darkness.
Because I might be the only Light she might see.
Yesterday showed me that I am no different except for the fact that I chose Grace.
Some people don't even when it is given freely.
If we lived in a world where Grace was given our hearts would be less hardened.

2 Corinthians 12:9
 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

It is his by Grace that I can truly put my issues aside and be the Light. The world would see it different but that's when I had to remember that I am different.
I love differently because it is only through him that I can.