Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Blind Side...


Oh how this movie made a big impact in my life and I didn't even know it.
Ty and I this weekend decided to pull this movie out of our box. He did buy it for me a couple Christmas ago and I hadn't watched it yet. When Blind Side came out in 2009 I  saw the preview thinking I have to see that. So when it came out to dvd we rented it.

I didn't remember all the feelings I had watching it until this weekend. This movie played a big role in my journey to where we are now.
In 2009 we just had Lola our third daughter lived in a beautiful big house and just lived the everyday normal life. I saw in this movie a young man who had everything taken from him.
Living day to day so quiet no one would know what he has been through.
Then one scene changed me forever. I'll give you the scene, Leigh Ann the Mom and her husband Sean and their son S.J are driving in the rain coming home from their daughters volleyball game. Now it is raining mind you and they come to a stop sign and see, Big Mike a young man walking in the rain with no where to go. The husband Sean asks him "Where he is going?" Big Mike replied "The gym". Well they looked at him and rolled up their windows and turned and proceeded to drive away. Until the Mom, she did it yes she did, something most all of us our afraid to do. She had her husband turn around and she got out of the car and asked Micheal where he was going and to not lie to her. She then found out he had no where to go. She invited him back to their home.

Now I can play every role out this one is my favorite because it is so powerful to me. I won't ever forget seeing this scene for the first time I wanted to be just like Saundra Bullocks character. Taking a risk and knowing how blessed we are that we could allow someone to come live with us also. During that time my husband was not in that place in is life and adoption was just a thought. I think it meant so much to me also because I too was Micheal. Everyone could of looked at me and thought I was fine but no one knew what my home life was like. A broken home with a addict who's addictions made my world turn upside down. I moved out when I was a senior and a very special woman allowed me to live with her and her daughter. A kind christian woman who let me sleep in her home and I came home to no chaos no worrying at all what it would be like when I got home. I will never forget that 6 months of my life ever!!! I can't even begin to tell you the comfort I had it is indescribable feeling. Some kids just grow up with a Dad and Mom and a safe household I did not. 

I think why this movie makes me cry, have a sense of pride, feel for the Mom and definitely Micheal. I am a product of someone turning on their Blind Side and taking me in even when it may have not been in their plans.

I know we can get caught up in just looking straight  and not turning to our Blind Side but you have NO Idea what an impact or blessing you could be to someone when you do.
There are too many hurting children and adults that we may never know what they are going through, but I challenge you, Take that chance. Give God the reigns to take over if you are scared. Invest in someone you never know what a person is going through until you truly invest in them. If you are that someone who is going through that hard time know there is someone who wants to be there for you. The most important one is God of all creation he loves you know matter WHAT!!

My life has changed and is still changing I know I am where I am due to my path in life.
My hurts, struggles and love made my heart that much stronger and HE guides me though.

2Corinthians 4:6
"Let the Light shine out of Darkness"


Wednesday, February 13, 2013

We are all Broken...

Ty and I were anticipating our drive because we knew in just 45 minutes we were going to meet 3 little's that could potentially be in our home.

We had our first meeting place in a small room at a human service building. This room is all white with a window that is placed for people to see in but you can't see out. Definitely not an inviting place but we made best out of the situation. As we walked in there were three little boys with such dark hair that covers there face. Hair that may not be cut because the parents said no! Such dark beautiful skin and dark brown eyes. A sweet baby who was playing with toys. The other two boys looked at Tyler and I and we sat on the floor to their level and said "Hello". These boys were typical boys who just wanted to play.

I observed everything about them I could thinking what have they been through what will they be like?

Ty who was in heaven had them wrestling with him and speaking spanish. The three year old can speak Spanish and English a match made for Ty who can speak spanish. We met the foster parents who spoke very little english. They were very kind and you can tell the genuinely love the boys but they can't continue to care for them. These foster parents had to be in their late 50's. We were able to communicate through Ty and the social worker with them so we could ask about the boys. The sweet foster Mom broke down and cried which made me cry because she is going to miss them. I so know how she feels!

We had the hour visit and said our Goodbyes. Ty and I left to have lunch and talk everything over. I was in complete shock!!! Ty ready raring to go. I couldn't grasp what just happened and what is about to happen. Three little boys are about to enter our sorta  normal home and I know for a fact it is all going to be turned upside down! These little boys were jumping on the coffee tables hitting going through my purse I just couldn't get a handle on it. So that whole day I was angry, sad, and overwhelmed.

Angry that we are starting this whole process over. That we just did this helping two boys last year from horrible habits and how hard that was. To thinking we are starting this all over. Sad that what I think is normal will not be anymore also knowing I will never have any more babies in the home. Overwhelmed that I will be mothering 6 kiddos. 3 kiddos which have not been raised with boundaries or really parents more like a grandparent style.

SO I am being perfectly HONEST!! I was ready to say no... 
I saw these three broken little boys and I wasn't sure I wanted to take them in and unfold it all.
 So through praying and talking with Tyler who is my voice of reason and rock. He told me you really need to pray about this and take whatever you think the fantasy case is out the window. He told me you said it yourself these children don't come from white picked fence situations.

That day I went for my run which I have taking up running and now I am addicted. Im at 2 miles right now. I clear my head a lot when I run. The song Crazy Love came on by
 Hawk Nelson. If you haven't listened to it you should the lyrics are great.

 Just then I realized we are all Broken. We are like these three little boys in that office and yet God still takes us and wants to be our Father. He doesn't look the other way because we are going to make mistakes and do things wrong. He loves us no matter what we do.
 GRACE... He extends it,He is it and He gives it to us.

I just finished my run and this all came to me. Just then I realized I will not let my fears or selfish reasons for following through what God has called us to do.

Trust me I am scared and excited all at the same time. ADOPTION needs an equal sign next to it that Says "CRAZY, RISKY, HARD, SELFLESS, BLESSING and so many more.

God truly help me see why I was feeling that way. To really look at my own life and the way God has been there for me.

These three little boys need parents, boundaries, love and for them to know there is a relentless God who Loves them.

They come this week for a day, meet the girls and will see their new house. I am praying the transition goes smoothly for them. I am praying that God will help me minimize any expectations for right now and that we will take this 1 day at a time.

 We are ready for them I have made their beds and got the rooms ready. I look at them thinking these could permanently have sleeping boys in it. 

This came up on my computer and it spoke to me then ever!!!!


Be RECKLESS for God he knows how everything will turn out!!



Wednesday, February 6, 2013

On our way to being a family of 8!!!

  After our meeting yesterday with the adoption county worker which I was so ancy to meet with all day. Ty and I feel good about the road we are headed on.

The county worker asked some great questions. The one she asked that I won't ever forget is " What is motivating you two to want to take in 3 little boys?" Now Ty and I both answered we live a blessed life and want to be able to provide a home for children in need of one. Now we told her if we didn't go through what we just did with our other boys we probably couldn't of said yes. I just thought it was funny because
I know she thought we are nuts...

 Tyler and Trent I feel left us with tools and prepared us for what can be. We went through crazy times with 5 kiddos and we got through it. We told her we never sat down and said " We want 6 kids we just feel that we are going to be able to do it". We are not in la la land thinking it is going to be peaches and cream. It will be hard and we will be tired but it is so worth it to us. My heart breaks for what these 3 precious boys have had to endure. I know we aren't going to bring them in and save them, but we will love and walk along side them during struggles they will have.

I can't even put into words the emotions I am feeling, I am so overwhelmed with God's Love. I never thought this is where we would be 6 month's to the date after the boys leaving. We will never forget the three special boys who helped us on this journey even if meant hard times and letting them go. Our journey to adoption has been the most trying in our lives but we press forward. Nothing is ever a guarantee even with these new little ones. We know when we say yes doesn't mean that is what goes.

When you stay in the comforts of your life you will never TRULY know h0w God will use you. So for right now we yes and will love and care for these precious boys and if its Gods will they will forever be apart of our Family. 

On a funny light note, they are very young...The three year old turned 3 in October, the 2 year old turned 2 in November and the one year old just turned 1 in December.   Yes we are Crazy but Crazy about the ONE who chose us!!!!

We meet the boys next week and we will all slowly transition for them coming into our home. Please pray for these 3 boys and our 3 girls and Ty and I as we are all about to board the CRAZY TRAIN!!!
 We are excited for the ride...  

All aboard CHOO CHOO...

Blessed is the one who trust in the Lord.
      Jeremiah 17:7