Monday, May 20, 2013

Why Date Your Spouse?

 What does dating your spouse look like? Sounds crazy because you are already married, it shouldn't be crazy at all. Hopefully dating your spouse is something you already do or plan to do when you are married.
 Now Ty and I's life has changed over these past few months adding more to our family meaning we are taken over by children.
Our everyday life is soaked up by 6 little people who need us for different reasons.
Having children when you are married will change a whole bunch of things to your marriage.
Now do you remember you and your spouse before you guys were married?
Oh all the work that you went through to impress the other one with the way you looked, the things you would say! The many dates you two went on together and enjoyed each other because during that time things may have been a little simpler. Now I know some people before they get married might already have children who are brought into the relationship in the beginning, that is fine you two still dated.

We go on the dates because we want to be with that other person and do something together what ever it may be on your date.

As marriage and having kids go on, the changes happen. Now what started just as you two has blossomed to a family 1, 2 or 3 or more kiddos. Then the focus changes on what used to be to your spouse now to other things.

Now I don't come from parents who have been married 20 plus years, my parents are divorced and both have remarried one more than once. So my up bringing isn't what has showed me how important marriage is. God has taken the reigns on that one and my husband. I am as guilty as any Mom when putting my kiddos before my husband. I have learned a lot in these couple years having multiple kids. We have learned real fast that our focus changes in  a second if we are both not on the same page. Meaning our kids will come first before our marriage if we lose focus.

So that is what brought me to the question Why date your spouse?
Because it started with you two first!!!!!
You and your spouse are who  carry this legacy through your family. 
Our kids feed off of our moods and if it is off with your spouse it is off through everyone.

I see way too many marriages put there kids before themselves because of feeling guilty.
Feeling guilty only tells your kids that you love them first before your spouse.
Too truthful maybe, but it is true. I am guilty of this at a time or two.

I have learned that by putting my kids before my husband makes a wedge for both of us and that is wrong
So here are some things we have come up with to not loose focus on US.
Dates will happen every other weekend and we are so thankful for our new babysitter.
Praying more together
Devotions together.
Making it a priority putting our dates in the budget because you know we have 6 kids and we have to pay our sitter
If you don't make something a priority it wont happen. Your spouse should be a priority. 
Say "YES" more often ladies... you know to what :)
I can tell you from experience that when things are in line with us the house is in line too.
I know as Moms sometimes we get caught up in Mom too much before we get caught up in being wife. Ladies if your husband isn't planning the date then you plan it. 
Trust me he won't be sad when you have a babysitter lined up and are all dressed up for him.

  When your kids leave the nest your spouse is still there.
Build that relationship because when its just you two you don't want to be strangers.