The journey starts again....

              That call came!! The call that we said yes too. It has been 5 months since we said yes to our last buddy boy as Lola would call him. Then he was given back to Mom. So during these 5 months we have had a lot of growing in this Napier household. Learning of not taking things for granted and loving unconditional, Ty and realizing that we can do it with four what makes 5 or 6 yes I said it we will hopefully one day have that:) Biggest learning lesson It isn't about us at all. That everything we do, live for is for Him, GOD! SO  here we go again not knowing  what will happen but we know what we are doing what we should. Our family is going from 5 to 7. We are getting a 5 year old who's name is Tyler, can you believe it Tyler he is 9 days older then Averee to the date:) Also we are getting his little brother from the hospital in 2  to 3 weeks who is in nicu getting stronger and was born at 3 1/2 pounds at 32 weeks. So our world is changing yet again:) Ty and I went to see Courages on Friday and Wow what a movie for us to see at this time. It is about making a impact in someones life no matter if they are yours or for keep or not to keep them. That's just what we pray to do make an impact on these 2 little people who are about to come into our family.    So I ask if you could keep our family in your prayers.

Love the Napiers:) Philippians 2-3

Crazy Love.. Part 2

  So here it is the part when I said we know we have to take it day by day.. Well that day came July 18th. It was the jurisdiction hearing for Elijah to see if he would go back to his parents. I can't even tell you the feeling of all day I am just so thankful I did not go. Ty went and I stayed home with the kids and Elijah. During the day I would pray God give me strength and take my worries. I mean I was thinking a part of me yes he could go back but why would he? This was Mom's 9th child and she did not have any of her others. all though Elijah's older sibling who is a year and a half was in the la county system and they were trying to get him back because he was just in foster care. So me like everyone else even the social workers did not think he would be going back that he would be up for adopting which we wanted. So that day I spent literally holding him all day and just taking the moment in with him and the girls allowing them to feed him and change him and give him a bath. I didn't even want to wash his crib sheets that morning because I thought to my self, well Im going to jinx it I can just wash them tomorrow after his nap. It was 4:24 pm and it was Ty I stared at Elijah and Ty said this' There is no easy way of saying this but the judge found no neglect and he is going back! I literally sobbed no joke! I could not even believe what I just heard. I found out that I needed to get him ready and get all his clothes and the bag he came with and meet a county worker who will take him to his parents. So I called my girls in and put them all on my lap and had to tell them that Elijah was going back to his parents. Now mind you we never told them it was a done deal they knew everyday we would pray that he could stay with us. Faith and Averee and I all cried together. Averee asked if we could see him that weekend and visit him. I had to tell her it we could not. I told Lola who is 2 That Elijah had to leave and her voice just killed me when she looked at him and said  No Mommy. I know she didn't really understand but to hear that was Wow! So I got all of his stuff together that he came with the girls all kissed him so tightly and said they loved him and so did his Mimi that was there who took the girls while I handled all of the stuff. I drove Elijah to meet the county worker and Ty at our meeting spot. I couldn't even see while driving and he was so quiet in the car not even asleep just his happy self. I met Ty and saw the social worker and county worker and I knew this was really happening. I got him out of the car and Ty got all of his stuff and I held him so tight and kissed him more than I think I ever have and put him in the infant seat. I looked at him and remembered every second and kissed him one last time and smelled him so I could not forget and the stinker smiled at me... He having no clue to what was going on.... Ty just the same with his goodbyes and trying to be strong for me.. So that is a version in a nutshell.. So it has been two weeks and Wow what a work God has done in on our family... We are now capable of loving like we never thought we could that this family is a strong bunch. God is good under all circumstances.. Now you are probably thinking how could that judge do that.. Well this is what Ty and I believe we do not think it was God's will for Elijah to go back to his parents. God gives us free will and we all make choices with that. And that day was the Judge's free will and choice to give him back to the parents. But I will tell you this  I know who the ultimate judge is.. Our family is doing good we all have moment in this when we will talk and say we miss him. We have come to realize that Elijah needed us and God placed him with us and we loved him like our own and cherished every bit of it. I am so proud of my girls in how well they did with him and even now how they are doing knowing they are so lucky to have even got the time with him like we did. We went away last week on a family vacation and it was a real blessing because we could get away and enjoy one another and not fret on what just happened and God blessed us with a great time. While I had  some time to myself I was reading in my bible this:

James 1:2-5 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance, perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and not lacking anything!  That showed me that our work was Elijah and our faith was tested when he left and we trusted God the whole way through. God showed us that this isn't about us it is about our faith and serving him and that is just what we did we cared for that orphan just as God said to do.. To get to this point was hard because my own selfish ways came in.. The whole well he should be with us and his quality of life will not be the same. So I give that to God and ask that he watch over Elijah and keep him close. I am thankful that Elijah was not older and attached to us I am thankful that I get the feeling his parents truly love him they are just on the road to know how to parent well.  I am proud on the fact that we were able to give him back to his parents healthy and we did that, nursed him back to health and love. He got love from so many people and prayers that he may have never had before. We know that this was a life changing experience for the better and we Thank God for that and showing us. God is Good. I wanted to share my new tattoo and that I felt more strongly about getting one then ever. Here it is  Crazy Love for the Crazy Love we have for God and this process. The pink heart around the e is for Elijah and the blue heart is Ty and the pink is the girls and I to remind me of why we do what we do...and my tattoo could grow with other hearts. So you probably thinking Why would you do this again and we say Why not? There may be another Elijah who needs us and can stay or one who can't but God has a plan in everything and we trust him. Thank you to all of you guys with your kind words and encouragement I have taken that so close to my heart and we are so blessed with amazing family and friends!!

Crazy Love!!

Crazy Love!!

 Ok I know it has been a while since I last blogged. Things have been a little busy obviously. I wanted to share our journey so far and what we have been going through. Well He is here that's right precious baby boy who looks me in the eyes and melts the hearts of everyone in this family. Two and half weeks ago we left in the morning knowing we were going to pick him up the most weirdest feeling you could ever imagine. For all Moms out there you go to the hospital pregnant and know you are coming home with the baby but this is such a different feeling. That morning I was sick to my stomach with emotions knowing we were coming home with a little baby who I have never seen just heard about. What was I going to do when I first see him? will I think he's cute will I feel no connection. So we made all the stops that morning to all baby items stores to get the essentials for what he would need. I looked at my watch seriously every ten minutes knowing at 12 a clock we were going to pick him up. After lunch it was time we head over there and Ty and I pulled in the parking lot and I said to Ty you need to talk to me or I am going to pass out with every emotion known possible. Knowing 15 feet away in 10 minutes I was going to meet him. So Ty and I video taped each other just so he can watch it when he is older and know what we were doing that morning and what we were feeling. Ty starts to film me and I sob like a baby the tears just flowed then poor Ty started to also. It was 12:30 and it was all I could do but not stare at the doors waiting for him to come through the doors with his emergency placement Mom. Then it was him, He was asleep and He had the cutest face I have ever seen he was so comfortable and happy. I cried with such joy and thanked God for this moment. She put him on the table and Ty and I walked up to him and I did not know what to do. So I picked him out of his seat and just held him so close. We went to the car and I fed him his bottle so nervously because I have never done bottles before so I did not know the proper way to do things. Ty drove and I sat in the back seat with him on the way home and examined every part of Him. Just staring at him and wondering what He came from and what this adventure will be like with him. So it was time there were three little girls anxiously waiting at home with there Grandma Suzette who was on pins and needles the whole day with all other family and friends. I walked in and there precious faces were priceless they all said he was so cute. So now we are a family of six he blends so well with our family, heck He even kind of looks like the girls. We have been told that a couple times. He is such a gentle soul, he laughs when his sisters jump in the air he smiles when you talk to him and he loves his feeding times:). Now don't think this is just a walk in the park because this is the most craziest thing we have ever done. This house is now a full blown circus with an act going 24/7 I either am changing a diaper consoling someone or disciplining. There is a for sure change and adjustment the whole family is going through but with God's help we are all in this together. My girls have been the biggest troopers through all of this from sharing there Daddy and I  between the 3 of them now they share us with someone else some else they have never met or barely know. As I am typing this 3 out of the for are crying someone doesn't want to go to bed the other one is hungry and someone wants to be held. I will be back... Break..... Alright  back and chaos is calmed down I will say we get the looks and are you crazy but I will say this. Yes we are crazy in a CRAZY LOVE for God and even though this is hard and we will have times that we want to pull our hair out it is 100% worth it my friends:) I am so in love with this little guy that it makes it that much harder for the unknown. The unknown being until that judge say's he's yours even though that's the way it is looking you just have to take this day by day. Ty said the most powerful thing to me "Michelle The Rewards of this outweigh the risks" So true... He is a blessing to our family and brings so much joy :)

Ring Ring Ring on the telephone.....

 Well it happened we got the call today at 12:30. Ty was home from lunch and we were talking about our weekend getaway trip planned for our 10 year anniversary. We got an amazing deal at the St Regis on Monarch beach and if you know that hotel, it is not for the middle class folks. We just got an amazing deal from a friend's sister. We talked about how excited we were to have time by ourselves since it has been over 3 years since we have been away from our kids. The phone rings and Ty puts it on speaker it is Koinia they have placement for a 12 week old little boy. He is very little 11 pounds he had surgery last month and had a problem to failure to thrive. He had surgery to correct a gastric problem because he projectiles his formula. He was born March 9th and they have been looking for placement for about a couple weeks. His social worker was looking for a home for him and  talked to a social worker in the office and they had small talk and his social worker just said I am looking for a home for this baby. Well then the social worker who knows us but isn't our social worker told her that she knew of a family. The timing was amazing in the scents that Ty was home and we got to experience the call together after hearing all about him over the phone. Ty's and my eye's met and we didn't even to speak of what needed to be said "Yes" I told her we will take him. Ty's eyes watered and I got goosebumps. I hung up the phone and you would think first to hug him but instead I went to the kitchen counter because in the midst of the phone call Ty got so excited and and squirrelly and spilt my lemonade all over the kitchen counter and floor, only Ty...lol. I think I was such in shock that I didn't know what to do high five Ty hug him or clean up the mess. Well obviously we hugged and we both forgot about this amazing trip we had planned for our 10 year and realized we are going to be doing something so much better!God has revealed to us that what is so important that vacations come and go but Family time is so precious and we are going to embark on some very precious times in a couple days. So I can say that for our 10 year anniversary nothing could be so greater than being married to an amazing Man of God and three beautiful girls and a son that God has picked out just for our family! Now with this things can change and we know that for right now our faith is revealed that we are relying on God the whole way through. I will keep everyone posted..

Caught off Guard!

 Well yesterday was an emotional day. I got a phone call from a Koinia social worker saying she had placement! Now if you don't know what that means she needed a home for 2 babies a 19th month old and a 8 month old. During this conversation I was so nervous because I knew this was coming but I was not expecting it so soon. But I do have to say someone who's been like a mentor for me during this told me the calls are going to start coming.  I just didn't think right now. After the social worker told me the situation I had to say no and that is the hardest part of this journey.  I had to say no to 2 babies that needed someone and we couldn't be that someone. Now yesterday I had struggled all day because as a Mom you think oh babies let me save them and I will love them, but in real hie sight they just sometimes aren't what God want's you to say yes to. That is the big kicker to this what does he want us to say yes to? We know this is what comes of signing up for this and we are as ready as we are ever going to be and our prayer is now we take it case by case and God leads those unreached babies to our family who he knows even if we don't have it in our minds that would be the best for this Napier Family! Someone told me you may say that you don't need anymore girl's or even boy's but how do you know they aren't needing you! Wow!!

Fancy Lunch!

 Well today my girls informed me that they were fancy today and ready for a fancy lunch. So I said alright go get your most fancy dress and come back for lunch. While they were getting ready with there little sister Lola who is 2 mind you she does everything they do. I was making a fancy lunch i made chicken salad, now let's be real when I say that canned chicken from Costco with some mayo. I put it on wheat thins and made mini sandwiches. I put strawberry lemonade in cocktail glasses now don't judge they thought the cocktail glasses were fancy. I put a lemon wedge on the glass cut up strawberries for a side. I had them come and sit and there faces were so worth it. Every little fight argument of the day was out the window they were so excited Mommy was playing along and they were sitting at a fancy lunch. My middle one Averee proceeded to tell me Fancy people listen to there Mommy and Daddy's. Hm, I think I needed to record that. So for a lunch that definitely took a lot longer than making a peanut butter and Jelly sandwich was worth the price of them always remembering there fancy lunch. Now I never take the time like I should to always play what they want to but it is so worth it when you do.

Life!

I wanted to start a blog for myself and to share with others that there are big changes in the Napier family. My husband Tyler and I have been married for 10 years. We are high school sweethearts and have three beautiful girls. Faith is seven and will be eight in August. Averee just turned 5 and Lola will be 2 in June. I am a stay at home Mom and wouldn't trade what I do for anything in this world. God comes first in our family! My husband and I worked with youth for 7 years and it was an amazing part of our lives and it showed us a lot. Just in recent time we had a huge change. A while after our last daughter was born Ty and I decided we were done having kids so Ty the brave soul he is took care of that and we embarked to have our family of 5. I would always tell someone when they would ask "oh yes we are so done!!" I would say I can't wait to be that couple that gets to sit around the campfire and watch the kids take care of themselves instead of chasing them around the whole time. We figured we are 28, 3 kids we are done. Well a year and a half of that, boy did God laugh and change our hearts. Ty and I went through some changes in our walk wanting to be closer and serve the the Lord. We started a new church after being at our home church for 7 years and was that the most hardest thing to do. When you leave a church you have reasons or maybe a dislike we had neither of those. We just knew God was calling us to something else. Ty and I started this book called Crazy love and if you have never read it oh boy check it out! It hit Ty and I like a ton of bricks in an amazing way. During this time something  just felt like we were missing and I could not quite get it. I have always brought up the idea to Ty that we should adopt. He would just look at me and kind of let it go. Well that went on for a year or two during all are other kids. Well a couple months ago it became so clear what was missing in our walk with God and where our hearts needed to be. The adopting thought was coming back to my mind. Now before I let this all go because like I said Ty and I said "we were done!!!" It was so clear to me, how could Ty and I say we were done. God did not have this in his PLAN! It was put on our hearts to expand our family and to show God's love to another. This was a lot for us to to take in because this was not part of our plan. We made the call and set out for sail we our now so close to almost done and our getting to start an adventure and walking the plank with the biggest gulp of Faith because there is no other way to go about this. We are doing "fost to adopt" so that means we will take in a baby or babies considering situations the babies come with. These babies come from the darkest places of life, and if you do not have  faith or God you can easily want to back out. We are not going to do that. We are having no expectations and seeing what God has for us. For our three girls they are beyond excited they have such great questions and know that our family is going to grow just not from Mommies belly. I just want them to know what God's love is and how to show it. We aren't doing this for the look at us and we are better than you because we are so not!

 We are doing this because this is what we were called to do!       

Let me share how God works to! About a month or two ago we were headed out of Costco and on the corner was this man with a sign and my youngest daughter said "Mommy he needs money" So I looked up and his sign said shoes or shirt please. So I asked him what size shoe he wore because I was just going to give him Tyler's well he said a size 12 and if you know Ty he has girl feet. lol  Then the man proceeded to say he found shoes in the bushes and he was alright. Well as we drove away I told Ty turn around we need to back to Costco and buy him some shoes. The man was leaving and we tracked him down and said stop! We would like to buy you shoes well he said no we were a young family and we did not need to do that. Well we said yes we do so please wait here. So Ty went into Costco got the shoes and a shirt. We pulled out of Costco and the man was right there waiting. His name was Mark he is 55 years old and told Ty I can't accept these shoes... "I am a meth addict." Ty said I don't care what you do please take the shoes. Well he cried and said thank you so much. The he said to Ty you must be a Christian and Ty said yeah I am. Well Ty got talking with him and 2 days before he found out he has leukemia and he was in some pain. He told Ty he can't shake his habit because it is the only thing that lets him forget his pain. Ty prayed with him and my youngest daughter got to witness the whole thing and see what her Dad was doing. Well Mark came up to the car and told me please know that I am going to have one night that I sleep well knowing that I have a brand new pair of shoes and someone loves me. He looked at my girls and said Jesus loves you they were not frightened of him at all and  they smiled and talked to him. He hugged Ty and said he will never forget our family and Thank you. As we drove away  I was in tears. I said to Ty if that isn't the reason why we are adopting then I don't know why we are. We are taking a "Mark" into our home trying to give a life a chance so this baby won't have to grow up with that same kind of pain because someone didn't care. God used Mark to show us why we are adopting.

                                                                                                                 Much Love Michelle