Monday, August 1, 2011

Crazy Love.. Part 2

  So here it is the part when I said we know we have to take it day by day.. Well that day came July 18th. It was the jurisdiction hearing for Elijah to see if he would go back to his parents. I can't even tell you the feeling of all day I am just so thankful I did not go. Ty went and I stayed home with the kids and Elijah. During the day I would pray God give me strength and take my worries. I mean I was thinking a part of me yes he could go back but why would he? This was Mom's 9th child and she did not have any of her others. all though Elijah's older sibling who is a year and a half was in the la county system and they were trying to get him back because he was just in foster care. So me like everyone else even the social workers did not think he would be going back that he would be up for adopting which we wanted. So that day I spent literally holding him all day and just taking the moment in with him and the girls allowing them to feed him and change him and give him a bath. I didn't even want to wash his crib sheets that morning because I thought to my self, well Im going to jinx it I can just wash them tomorrow after his nap. It was 4:24 pm and it was Ty I stared at Elijah and Ty said this' There is no easy way of saying this but the judge found no neglect and he is going back! I literally sobbed no joke! I could not even believe what I just heard. I found out that I needed to get him ready and get all his clothes and the bag he came with and meet a county worker who will take him to his parents. So I called my girls in and put them all on my lap and had to tell them that Elijah was going back to his parents. Now mind you we never told them it was a done deal they knew everyday we would pray that he could stay with us. Faith and Averee and I all cried together. Averee asked if we could see him that weekend and visit him. I had to tell her it we could not. I told Lola who is 2 That Elijah had to leave and her voice just killed me when she looked at him and said  No Mommy. I know she didn't really understand but to hear that was Wow! So I got all of his stuff together that he came with the girls all kissed him so tightly and said they loved him and so did his Mimi that was there who took the girls while I handled all of the stuff. I drove Elijah to meet the county worker and Ty at our meeting spot. I couldn't even see while driving and he was so quiet in the car not even asleep just his happy self. I met Ty and saw the social worker and county worker and I knew this was really happening. I got him out of the car and Ty got all of his stuff and I held him so tight and kissed him more than I think I ever have and put him in the infant seat. I looked at him and remembered every second and kissed him one last time and smelled him so I could not forget and the stinker smiled at me... He having no clue to what was going on.... Ty just the same with his goodbyes and trying to be strong for me.. So that is a version in a nutshell.. So it has been two weeks and Wow what a work God has done in on our family... We are now capable of loving like we never thought we could that this family is a strong bunch. God is good under all circumstances.. Now you are probably thinking how could that judge do that.. Well this is what Ty and I believe we do not think it was God's will for Elijah to go back to his parents. God gives us free will and we all make choices with that. And that day was the Judge's free will and choice to give him back to the parents. But I will tell you this  I know who the ultimate judge is.. Our family is doing good we all have moment in this when we will talk and say we miss him. We have come to realize that Elijah needed us and God placed him with us and we loved him like our own and cherished every bit of it. I am so proud of my girls in how well they did with him and even now how they are doing knowing they are so lucky to have even got the time with him like we did. We went away last week on a family vacation and it was a real blessing because we could get away and enjoy one another and not fret on what just happened and God blessed us with a great time. While I had  some time to myself I was reading in my bible this:

James 1:2-5 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance, perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and not lacking anything!  That showed me that our work was Elijah and our faith was tested when he left and we trusted God the whole way through. God showed us that this isn't about us it is about our faith and serving him and that is just what we did we cared for that orphan just as God said to do.. To get to this point was hard because my own selfish ways came in.. The whole well he should be with us and his quality of life will not be the same. So I give that to God and ask that he watch over Elijah and keep him close. I am thankful that Elijah was not older and attached to us I am thankful that I get the feeling his parents truly love him they are just on the road to know how to parent well.  I am proud on the fact that we were able to give him back to his parents healthy and we did that, nursed him back to health and love. He got love from so many people and prayers that he may have never had before. We know that this was a life changing experience for the better and we Thank God for that and showing us. God is Good. I wanted to share my new tattoo and that I felt more strongly about getting one then ever. Here it is  Crazy Love for the Crazy Love we have for God and this process. The pink heart around the e is for Elijah and the blue heart is Ty and the pink is the girls and I to remind me of why we do what we do...and my tattoo could grow with other hearts. So you probably thinking Why would you do this again and we say Why not? There may be another Elijah who needs us and can stay or one who can't but God has a plan in everything and we trust him. Thank you to all of you guys with your kind words and encouragement I have taken that so close to my heart and we are so blessed with amazing family and friends!!

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