So I just got done writing how I am finding Joy this week and to be honest I was doing so well. Then I got some news I was not expecting. It took my breathe away and didn't even really have much to say still in shock. It has do with our case I just don't think I should say what it is, it did make this all to real the thought of loosing them. I will tell you what it caused us to have to do.
After Ty and I talked about it we both decided it was time to tell the kids what is going on. So I am being so honest and real with our journey I will you tell you this is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Tell your son that he can potentially be moving to another house and you will no longer see him. WELL I CRIED!!!! I tried so hard to be strong. How do you look in the face of little boy who is a part of your family. He had no reaction can you blame him all the things he has been through he doesn't know what is permanent or not. We assured him everything will be ok and that we will know more Friday we also left him with tools to apply with if he goes. Meaning what is right from wrong and to know if something is going wrong to tell someone. The most important thing we said is "Buddy, Jesus will be with you always and he loves you very much."
So after that as we gathered ourselves together and was dreading the next thing telling our girls. I mean really I just had to do this 1 year ago that there little bubba Elijah was leaving, now this. So we did we told them everything exactly and did it crying. They both in tears them both knowing that is was never permanent until the Judge says so but to prepare their little hearts of the potential. Then the comment came from my sweet Averee that ripped our hearts out. She is crying mind you while saying this" Why do other people get to keep there babies and we don't? " I'm done I thought at that moment.. I told her Honey we don't know why and we have to know that we are doing what God has asked us to.
I mean these little girls are learning so much at a young age of selfless faith, love and servant hood. I don't really ever brag but on this occasion I have to. I told them I am so proud of you girls you have shown Mommy and Daddy so much of loving and acceptance they took in these boys from day one and treated them with a pure heart. My girls know that their little brothers could be leaving but they still trust God at ages 6 and 9. You want to know what Averee was concerned with? If Tyler would still love Jesus if he goes and if the person who gets him knows who Jesus is?? My daughter at 6 is worried about that, not if she will see him again but if he will continue his life with God in it.
So there you go in a nutshell of a day we have had we prayed after all of it and still say God we loved you before and will still after. We will grieve if need be but this isn't over until we know it's over.