Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Love requires sacrafice!!

  Well I didn't think I would be here writing this post. A shock value yesterday was the definition of Tyler's and my day. A simple email I received which two words stuck out to me
( Conditionally Approved) which means someone might be cleared to have the boys... "NO way this isn't the way it should be going they are perfectly fine here". Tyler and I are Daddy and Mommy and these are our boys..I had to sit and truly think what is happening? It was the longest drive home from Bakersfield after getting the email. I cried while trying to make sense of it all. While in my crying I hear "Be Still and Know that I am God" 
"Well God I don't want to be still!!! I wrestled thinking and saying out loud I want to be angry. Why do we have to be this family? We just did this I mean wasn't loosing Elijah hard enough? Why can't we have a smooth sailing adoption? This is all the things that were going through my head. Later that day after trying to make sense of it all and truly finding out what Conditionally Approved meant.  We found out that it means that they are still waiting on a couple of things so until that comes through which will determine  the full approval. So it could be granted or denied. If it is granted we have a meeting a meeting that will be the hardest thing I will ever have to do. A meeting trying to convince people why its the best choice for the boys to be with us. We are so grateful we have 100% backup from our social workers and that they will fight with us. But we all know ,Tyler and I better than anyone our court systems can really get ugly. So after finding all this out and praying yesterday God showed me that he is in control and whatever happens he is still God that loves us and doesn't want the bad for us but does want us to grow in him. Loving these boys comes with no guarantee but it does come with sacrifice. Sacrificing our wants!!!!! Yes there is nothing we would want more than to be able to adopt our 2 little boys but we can't be angry at God if that isn't able to happen. We need to relish in the fact that we were chosen to take care of them that God placed them with our Family for a reason. Our girls know it isn't a guarantee either but they love there brothers unconditionally.  I say brothers because that's what they are to them not friends, neighbors, random boys that came to live with us, Brothers that God picked for them to be sisters too. We are a family that is filled with God's love because its only through him we love like this.

Matthew 22:37 
 You must love the Lord your God with all your heart,all your soul and all your mind.'

This is true and speaks of how we are dealing with our situation. We can't just Love God with half of our heart because we want to keep the other part safe. We have to love him with everything we have and by doing that we are trusting him with our lives. Good or Bad at that time. Now I am not saying that It will be easy I am just relying on God to get us through. So everyday will be treated no different and we will still be that Crazy Circus family and be thankful that we get to be until God says otherwise.
So I ask that you would just pray over our Family and if we have to have the meeting for the boys that we will have peace going into it.

Much Love Michelle and The Napier Crew :)
GOD is Good!!

1 comment:

  1. Praying for you all this morning. Remember, It is not over yet.