Thursday, March 22, 2012

Bonding with Love...

  It has been a while since I have blogged about the crew. It has been a crazy road that's for sure getting to see what works and doesn't work for the family. It has been 4 months since the boys came with us and Wow it has gone by super fast it feels like. Little Ty has seriously done a 180 he is truly a new little man. From coming to us scared and some habits and a yuck yucky blanket that he would chew on. To now not even asking for his blanket to experiencing life the way it should be that he isn't used to. He is a sweet boy who calls me Mommy and you know what? That is the sweetest words coming from him, from calling me Michelle then now to Mommy there are no words to explain it.

       Faith is doing well I can't believe she is going to be 9 years old the time flies by. As I sit here in tears writing about her I think she was my first baby who is now grown to helping me take care of all the other babies. Oh how I love her so!! She is my calming ground she is the second little Mommy in the house that's for sure:)

  Averee she is getting to be such the comedian She say's things off the top her head and I think I can't even respond to that because inside I am laughing so hard. She is finding her place that's for sure with having new siblings and where her voice fits in. I sometimes struggle with guilt about that for her already being the middle child but she is finding her way in a good balance. She is the first one to want to make the baby stop crying and help him that's for sure.

    Lola well her name says it all. Since getting the boys the world hasn't stopped in her eyes. If she has something she want's you to hear, see or say! She will let you know. Someone told me one time She is like a 17 year old She is my Lola and I love to hear her say "I love my Bubba's" aka, the boys.

Now for the little Man..... He is now 5 months old and only 9 pounds he has come a long way since bringing him home at 4 pounds. His weight is now at a stand still and we are waiting for Madera's children hospital to call for hopefully a surgery date. We found out he has Pyloric Stynosis. Its a muscle that is opening and closing around his stomach. So when he eats sometimes it can make it through, other times not. Which causes him to vomit it all back up through the nose the whole bit. Now for the weird part only 3 out 1,000 babies get this and we have had 2. Our other baby that we had Elijah he had it also. Crazy right? What are the odds. So now we are just hear what happens next. This little guy has been through so much the day he started growing he has had things in his system that no one could ever fathom. This thing that is in his system is a black selfless thing that sucks the life out of you. I know because I see what it is doing to their Mother. This thing causes him to scream non stop to the point where you have to put him in another room to cry it out and wait til he falls asleep. It causes him to be so stiff that any kind of loving touch or soft gentle kiss makes him flinch or scream. He doesn't want you to hold him and cuddle him because that's too much touch and stimulation  for him. I purchased an ergo baby carrier and that has been a God send. He hates it at first and he will fall asleep on my chest I can feel his cheeks with the sound of him sucking his pacifier. When he is like this I cherish it because I want nothing more than to bond with him Mommy to son and let him feel love and hear my heart beating. I have had him since the day he came from the hospital and held his tiny little fingers and kissed his tiny little face not know what was ahead. You hear people say things for babies like him but you don't know for yourself what your getting into. What's the hardest thing is none of this is his fault I remind my self and kids of this daily when we he has crying spurts for hours on end. We have all learned how to cope with it and it has made us closer in all of us helping in those times. I don't take my healthy children for granted that's for sure. Seeing how I have had 3 healthy easy babies and never dealing with any of this. I am grateful he is with us and no where else so the times he is screaming or just not happy at least he is in our care and home and we are the ones to be blessed enough to help him through it. I don't know when this will pass, it is day to day. I pray for him that he gets better. He started smiling one month ago exactly he is now focusing on your face when you talk to him. He has a moment for the day when he smiles and is calm. I wanted to share his pictures with you. I wanted to capture these moments to remind my self in the hard ones. He is my precious little man and I am going to love him through the hardest times even when I feel like I can't.

 Now for Ty and I this has been the hardest thing we have ever done. Someone very dear to me said "The first six months will rock your world" Well its a rock'n and we are getting through it with each other I don't know what I would do with out him and his support he is an amazing man and I couldn't see doing this with anyone else. Honestly we're a circus but a Christ centered Circus and we do this for Him and Him alone.

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