Wednesday, January 7, 2015


 Courage is not the absence of fear,
 but rather the assessment that
something else is more important
than fear.
Frankilin D. Roosevelt

First off I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who reached out after my last blog post. I didn't even realize how people I know or don't know who also struggle.

Last year was a whirlwind as you know for all who follow. Last year at this time I sat with a friend who ask what my word would be for the upcoming year well it was adventure. What an adventure last year was. Going through a really dark place and coming out of it made me think of my word this year... What would it be?? Then it came to me, Courage would be it. So many things have already happened that I have had to have Courage to do or even accomplish. Without having the courage it wouldn't of been done. Some of my courage has been coming in the form of saying No... I am such a people pleaser and doer I want to say yes. But it is taking me to say No that make me courage's. I was going to do a speaking engagement for a big group of Moms in February I was sooo excited to do it and to share our story and journey. But as I sat and really thought about it right now I am not in a place to do that. Having to tell the coordinator I would have to decline and say no was very hard for me. She was so encouraging and understood, my heart said yes over and over but I knew saying No was the best thing. Then it brought me to think how many other people out there don't have the courage to say no or even yes? I think of the Mom who puts her self last because her family becomes first. Because the courage to get there to say" I need to take care of myself first" isn't very strong. If  I have learned anything its when we put ourselves last no body can really have the best of us. I encourage that Mom out there to take care of her self first. Now coming first doesn't mean neglectful it means Mom's mental and physical needs to come first however it needs to. It doesn't make you a Bad Mom it makes you a better one. Trust me I speak from experience, never putting my mental health first got me to hit the floor.  Having the courage to let the people around you know you aren't ok and you are tired of pretending you are.
Your courage might look different in forgiving someone who really has done you wrong but you can't even begin to scrape up the courage to forgive them. The courage to saying yes to something God has been calling you to do.  Yet you put  that calling  on the back burner because you are scared of what it would cost you. The courage to say No I can't do it all. Yet we all have that fear of something that prevents us to what we are really capable of doing.
If you would of ask me 3 months ago I had nothing not one ounce of Courage. Fear came  in my life like a dark black cloud I couldn't escape. Having the courage to come out of that darkness is brings me to tears because I never thought it would happen. But here is the thing all our courage looks different. Yet we all have to have the courage to take on this life God has given us. All our life stories are different but we all have Courage you just have to use it. I need all the courage from the out most loving God who gives it. Mothering 6 kids is by far the  hardest thing I have ever done and need so much courage during my day. If I can be any encouragement is to acknowledge your fears and practice courage everyday.

Be strong and courages...
for the Lord your God will be with you
wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9

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