Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Grandma Mary....


 This is one of those blogs I have always known I was going  to write. But when writing it would be because she would no longer be here anymore. You know that one person in your life who you have such a stronghold to, the one who could make anything seem like it would be ok! 

Well for me, that was my Grandma Mary, a lady who made my world better. I didn't have the best up bringing in the world different story for another blog,, but I did have Grandma Mary. Her house was like a safe place you knew as soon as you walked in the doors nothing bad could happen. 

She would be standing there in the doorway ready to greet you with a kiss. I was always greeted with   "Hi Meeshell"    that is what she called me my whole life in her little Mexican accent. See my Papa Rae passed away when I was 3 and my Grandma never remarried she was a widow for 29 years. Being at Grandmas you knew you would get to eat dinner on Tv trays with her in her living room I would sleep with her even until I was 17 and every night was the same routine. Curlers in her hair and Bengae lotion on her arms. Wow was it such a strong scent. Breakfast in the morning was like no other, I mean lets get serious a Mexican Grandma in the Kitchen even a restaurant couldn't compare. Eggs,beans, salsa, potatoes and bacon. When my brother Noah and I would go there in the summer I couldn't wait. But I knew my Grandma would prepare herself. We were a handful that's for sure.
 See my Grandma never drove she was to scared, so we took the city bus everywhere we went. She lived right around the corner of Mc Dondalds and we would walk there but see with Grandma you always had to hold her hand or she would not take you. As I got older I spent more time just sitting in her living room with her talking about her life with Papa and as a Mom to four kids. I will forever cherish those times. In her kitchen growing up she had a owl cookie jar and you knew it was always filled with chocolate chip cookies, until she had to start  buying the healthy ones. Her candy bowl out in the living room was a tempting source of trouble when you were told no and you would sneak one in your pocket. As I talk about her and I wish so badly she was here I can't even begin to say how grateful I am for memories, because isn't that all we have? 

Grandma Mary was the most giving woman I had ever met her Faith was very strong. He kind heart is what made her so special. The day of my wedding I got the worst anxiety attack and wouldn't walk down the isle until she got there. I can't even describe the feeling I had when she walked in the back of the church. I will never forget how she smelled how soft her skin was and what she said to me. "Meeshell your going to be ok Tyler is a good boy" See I get my anxiety from my Grandma she was too scared to be in the wedding party and walk down the isle so she didn't. HA...

As I became a Mom it was my geatest Joy bringing my girls to her. I had heart problems so I had to deliver at Ucla but the biggest blessing of that is I was only 5 minutes from her house so directly leaving the hospital we went straight to Grandma Marys. She had the biggest smile on her face and would sing them the same song she sang to me. Chonie, chonie, chonie, chonie, chonie chone. I even have it on video which is the best thing to watch. I know a song about underwear but my kids even know it because I sang it to them. When she started to get sick and went into the home that was really hard because I knew her mind and her body was failing and it was't Grandma Mary anymore. 

My Grandma gave me so many baths as a little girl which I dreaded because she would scrub her nails into my scalp and it hurt. lol But she always made sure I was clean and ready for bed with her red cinnamon toothpaste I loved using. Then one day roles were reversed I was in the same bathroom giving her a bath because she could no longer do it herself.  What she said to me I can hardly type. "God Bless you Meeshell for doing this for me". She was in her most vulnerable state and I was taking care of her and I wouldn't of had it any other way. It reminded me of The I'll love you forever book, if you haven't read it you must. But warning a tear jerk. The day I found out she passed I just sat there with no emotion because I didn't know what to even think. She has been the one person in my life I have never wanted to loose. My girls  love her as much as me she was their GG. They spent a lot of time with her. Her service was beautiful and we celebrated a Great woman. She will never be forgotten and Mary Esparza's legacy will live on. Heck have you seen Lola she is the spitting image of her and sass too. Be grateful for the family that imprints on your heart its one of Gods Greatest blessings.

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