Thursday, May 26, 2016

Sometimes I forget what we went through.

It has been a long time since I have written in my blog, hence the six kids, a husband, sports and just life in general. This morning I felt compelled to write. I was thinking back to five years ago and where our family was. Just Ty and I and our three young girls who were 8, 5, 2. Life was just simple and we did things as we pleased, vacationed as we wanted and I hosted parties and dinners at my home often. During that season of life we were simply sailing and our biggest test was when we were going to take our trailer out or when our next Disneyland trip was. But in February of that year Ty and I felt it was time to leave our home church, for no specific reason at all. There was nothing wrong just time for us to leave. Tyler and I had been a huge part of the church and Tyler headed up the youth group for almost 7 years, we loved that church and everyone in it, yet something was just changing in us. We started our new church we are at now and everything in us changed. Adoption came into our life. I never really thought of adoption, it wasn't something I wanted since I was a little girl and knew I would always do it. It just wouldn't leave my mind. There were two people in this church that had just joined the foster/adoption community. Long story short I knew this was a feeling that I could simply shake off knew I was called to do this, my husband not so much. Ty at first didn’t feel the same way I did about it. I just asked him to pray about it and he did. We didn't talk about it much but I continued to pray about it. Then one day Ty told me he was ready for me to call the agency and let's do this. I was so naive not and didn’t have a clue what we were about to walk into. We just thought we were going to adopt a tiny baby and save the world. Boy do I wish I had someone there to really kick the living air out of us to really show us what we were about to endure. We told all our family and friends some had positive reactions and some did not. I get it, adoption is either one of two things “Wow you guys are amazing” or “You are crazy”. Either way we had no clue what we were getting into we just trusted God to lead us. So that year we welcomed a three month old little boy and loved him. He was so precious and the girls loved playing with him. Then 5 weeks later there was a mix up in his case and he went back to his parents. That little boy should have never been removed in the first place. Either way we were so crushed. Ty went to court and he called me to break the news and the girls and I had 15 minutes to say good bye. How do you say goodbye to something you have fallen in love with in 15 minutes. You can already guess what that looked like for all of us. Not a good day in the books for at the Napier's.  Remember I said, we were naive we had no clue about the system and how it all worked but we were getting to see what it was like. I mean we were ready to take this little boy as our own and love him. So we were fragile to say the least. Five months later we get a call for a 5 year old little boy and a brand new baby who was still being cared for at the NICU and still going through with-drawls. Ok God we will say yes even though we just signed those adoption papers for one baby. Wow just wow those two little boys entered our lives and we just did life, the hard, the good the bad and the ugly. A year with them and and working so hard to get the baby through 16 hours of screaming, night sweats being comfortable and a 5 year old who now had a new family to be with. Three little girls who were just loving these boys and had taken a back seat to what was normal to them with just Mom and Dad. That year was full of “firsts” for this five year old. Disneyland, the beach, family bbq's, water parks, a family and a real birthday party. Being able to see a child see things for the first time is something you can't explain. Most of us take for granted what we introduce our kids to even the littlest things like the park that has swings. A birthday party with family and cousins was too much because he had never had one. But yet to us that was normal but to him not normal at all. That year will be one we will never forget. God had other plans for them because they went back to a family member out of state. That goodbye was one we still don't talk about much because it was too much for humans to process or understand. A goodbye that you knew was permanent. Our church family came to say goodbye our friends and family came out to say goodbye. Everyone there knew why they were there but kept the great face to be there for us and that sweet little boy and his baby brother. A lot of praying happened and no sleep was had, that next day we said our last goodbyes. A lot to read I know sometimes I forget we did that. Well we were done adopting or whatever we were trying to do. How could we put our kids through that anymore and ourselves. Six months later after hard, hard days and getting back to life. A phone call changed our lives forever. Three little boys were in need of a home and we were the last on the list before they were going to have to split them. She was having a hard time placing three boys in one homer. I get it, three is hard and at one time. We said yes and our lives have never been the same since, with the good and bad. Those three boys are ours and these three years have shaped and molded all of us into ways most people might never get to. We have been stripped to our core with emotions, life changes and everyday changes. Our three girls love like no one I have ever met. Our three boys have changed our hearts for the better even on the days we doubt our every move. Our family has had to come together so tight through very hard circumstances. I know people look at us and think why would we got through all of this and say well you chose this. You are right, we chose do to this because if it's not us then who? I couldn't even imagine where my three boys would be if not here with us. Yes adding three more children to your family is pure crazy. I will tell you this, our girls lead the whole way to our boys being here they would never want it to be any other way. At the beginning when there were hiccups and we got scared the girls would say it’s better to have them here to love them then to not have them here at all if they go back. Five years of stories, lessons and many memories all because we said yes to something bigger than us. Thank you to everyone who has been a part of our story and that loves our family well. Say yes to something bigger than you because there is always a bigger and better plan with it.

Much Love,



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