Not letting the Past scar me for the Furture...

2 years ago we started the adoption process changing our lives forever. Saying yes to a calling to love the ORPHANS.

Oh how these 2 years have left some pretty harsh unknowns to what we thought would have turned out different. I mean if you think about it we all like to plan out our lives and how we think they should go. We say we want what God has for our lives and surrender but when things don't go as planned, Then what? Loosing our first placement in adoption rocked our worlds we were so new to the system and no clue. We thought what did we just get our self's into? WE say yes to taking in a child to have them taken. Then we recover, only to find out we are getting two more little boys. Scared not knowing what could happen these boys became apart of our family.


Again us planning what we thought was best, never knowing what God always did the worst day happened.One year ago August 4th we walked two boys into a car to a social worker who would forever take them away. That day is always fresh in mind and so is of my girls who to this day don't forget one single detail. We miss those boys so much it hurts yes this family still aches for them. Sometimes my girls have some pretty bad crying episodes and we all cry. Grieving is hard.

Yet we move on because we TRUST HIS PLANS  . 6 months ago our lives once again changed when 3 little people came adding 6 to the mix. Everyone is still adjusting our girls love the boys.
I my self still struggling with this major change into what I thought Mothering would be. Sometimes I can't believe that I myself have 6 kids and God is entrusting them to me, I let him down on a daily basis.  It is hard work rehabbing 3 boys into a so called normal environment I cry usually once a week to my self and beg God to help me. HE works on me daily and I'm defiantly a piece of work. I think back when it all started  it was easy with 4 it was easy with 5 and now it is going to get there one day but with adoption there is a 6 month- hard hump you have t get over and we are in it. Just recently our  family has heard more news about our future and our lives and loosing Hope real fast is so easy. When you haven't experienced it yet and are still holding on you get weak. Yet God will give you little glimmers of hope along the way even if you don't think they are. Yes this life we chose to live is hard but living a life full frontal of truth for God is hard. If it were easy everyone would do it everyone would like you which is definitely not the case for this family. But we do it for HIM. Recently I was shown that HE has to be enough even when things don't go our way. Trust me I have been struggling with this only to get bad news after bad news.


Then God leaves me those glimmers of HOPE because HE is enough.... This verse has been showing up to me at all different times and I wanted to share it with you.

                           For Nothing will Be Impossible with GOD
                                                 LUKE 1:37


I wish one year ago I could of known how it would have all turned out but that wasn't for me to know. I am finding out all the thing about myself that I need to fix and it isn't pretty but what I am learning is surrendering my life means ALL of it not just some of it...


                                         MY Mama heart has been filled with 9 loving souls.
                              Sometimes doors have to close for others to open even if that
                                 means a couple get slammed on you along the way...

 

       

Summer as a Family of 8

  Hello everyone I have surely missed blogging and keeping in touch with you all.

  Hope your Summer was eventful, relaxing all at the same time.

 Here is a little recap of what our Summer was like...

Faith got Braces.

 

                                                            Went camping to Carpenteria

                                                             Won my first 5K

                                                            The boys lost their fear of swimming

                                                                Girls had their dance recidal

                                                          Our Sweet Lola turned 4

                                                                  We celebrated our 12 year

                                                                Spent a week at the Beach House

                                                           We grew out of our Home and Moved

                                                         Went to our First Dodger Game

                                                          Wen Camping to Leo Carillo

We definitely had a eventful summer and with 6 kiddos kind of backwards I know. But with having the six we didn't let that stop us. Sure it was chaotic and a lot of work, it was all worth it because we created MEMORIES as a FAMILY. I think Moving topped the whole cake I mean who does that? We do that's who! Us Napier's sure do live a full blown circus. I must say that moving into our new home in 3 days that should be world record right? Or our OCD really got the best of us..lol This year our anniversary trip was the most special trip we have ever been on. The time we surely did not take for granted at all. I woke up one morning on our trip so excited because I knew we had 3 full days to ourselves. We are so thankful to everyone that helped us with that. Watching six kiddos is work so splitting them up between family was perfect 3 and 3.
                      This summer we dealt with set backs to our adoption and it was a very hard time but we TRUST GOD in all of it.Again our girls truly showed us during that hard time what really is important. Our family likes the summer but cant handle no structure. Our kiddos thrive off structure so does this MAMA.. Changes are happening for this family and we are adapting and trusting the whole way. I am happy to be back blogging and  having the summer with the family. I have so many stories and thoughts to share. Glad to be back.
                                                                                  Much Love...
 

RECKLESS

 I have wanted to share about my tattoo that I got a couple months back. I know I don't have to  explain or share why I got it but to me it means a lot to me.

People having tattoos makes me curious of why they got them and what they mean to them. You may see someone who looks like they would never have one and then find out they do and it's hiding. Trust me when you look at me you might think she is conservative and would never get a tattoo! I truly felt strong about this marking on my arm because that's what it is a a MARK  that means something in my life. Living recklessly, not about not following rules and doing what I want but living that way for GOD.  To take out all my comforts and my fears and not worry about consequences that might get in the way. So I decided my arm where more people would see it and my self but something someone would hopefully ask me aout and I can share it with them.
Seriously taking a look at me I am far from the cool factor I mean I have six kids and am on way to a passenger van. But this tattoo took me out of my comfort zone something I never thought I would do. I always thought about it  I wouldn't do it. I would think of me at my daughters' weddings in my Mom of the Bride dress with tattoos on my arms and it didn't seem pleasant, but it all changed. 
This MARK will forever be apart of me faded even wrinkly but it means my whole being in life that this life is for God and I will put my best to live that way. The verse Ephesians 2:10, yes it doesn't say anything about being Reckless but the verse fit so well in this mission that we are living and got me through a lot it seemed best fitting.

                   For we are God's handwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God      prepared in advance in advance for us to do.

If you truly belive in him and TRUST him what you go out to do for him will turn out well even if you think it isn't. I am living proof of that.  Now this post isn't on here to say you have to go get a tattoo to make reminders in your life. This one is just one of my MARKS that will be a daily reminder. And  it looks tough right???...lol

Why Date Your Spouse?

 What does dating your spouse look like? Sounds crazy because you are already married, it shouldn't be crazy at all. Hopefully dating your spouse is something you already do or plan to do when you are married.

 Now Ty and I's life has changed over these past few months adding more to our family meaning we are taken over by children.

Our everyday life is soaked up by 6 little people who need us for different reasons.

Having children when you are married will change a whole bunch of things to your marriage.

Now do you remember you and your spouse before you guys were married?

Oh all the work that you went through to impress the other one with the way you looked, the things you would say! The many dates you two went on together and enjoyed each other because during that time things may have been a little simpler. Now I know some people before they get married might already have children who are brought into the relationship in the beginning, that is fine you two still dated.

We go on the dates because we want to be with that other person and do something together what ever it may be on your date.

As marriage and having kids go on, the changes happen. Now what started just as you two has blossomed to a family 1, 2 or 3 or more kiddos. Then the focus changes on what used to be to your spouse now to other things.

Now I don't come from parents who have been married 20 plus years, my parents are divorced and both have remarried one more than once. So my up bringing isn't what has showed me how important marriage is. God has taken the reigns on that one and my husband. I am as guilty as any Mom when putting my kiddos before my husband. I have learned a lot in these couple years having multiple kids. We have learned real fast that our focus changes in  a second if we are both not on the same page. Meaning our kids will come first before our marriage if we lose focus.

So that is what brought me to the question Why date your spouse?

Because it started with you two first!!!!!

You and your spouse are who  carry this legacy through your family. 

Our kids feed off of our moods and if it is off with your spouse it is off through everyone.

I see way too many marriages put there kids before themselves because of feeling guilty.

Feeling guilty only tells your kids that you love them first before your spouse.

Too truthful maybe, but it is true. I am guilty of this at a time or two.

I have learned that by putting my kids before my husband makes a wedge for both of us and that is wrong. 

So here are some things we have come up with to not loose focus on US.

Dates will happen every other weekend and we are so thankful for our new babysitter.

Praying more together

Devotions together.

Making it a priority putting our dates in the budget because you know we have 6 kids and we have to pay our sitter well...lol

If you don't make something a priority it wont happen. Your spouse should be a priority. 

Say "YES" more often ladies... you know to what :)

I can tell you from experience that when things are in line with us the house is in line too.

I know as Moms sometimes we get caught up in Mom too much before we get caught up in being wife. Ladies if your husband isn't planning the date then you plan it. 

Trust me he won't be sad when you have a babysitter lined up and are all dressed up for him.

  When your kids leave the nest your spouse is still there.

Build that relationship because when its just you two you don't want to be strangers.

 

 

 

My First 5k

Trying something you have always been afraid of makes a big difference.
 I was that girl that always said " I can't run its to hard".

 Until the beginning of this year when I decided I was in bad shape and the loss of the boys caused me to gain unnecessary weight from stress eating. I didn't want to keep feeling tired and eating horrible. I took being small for granted and treated my body like crud. Everyone my whole life has told me how little I am or was but on the inside and the outside felt different. So I tried a program called Insanity it kicked my butt. I did the program for the 30 days and got into some great shape but I couldn't watch a video everyday. So I thought I would try running my first run was a half of mile and it felt like 100. The next day I went a little farther and everyday after that.

Realizing I was truly enjoying running weird I know but I do. Until the day I reached 2 miles I literally jumped up and down and Ty was so excited for me. Ty has been my biggest fan he works so close to home so I have been able to go when he comes home for lunch. Him being that close has been a huge help to me being able to run. Also friends and family have taken time to watch the kiddos so I could go run and still do. I have always seen people running marathons 5k and never thought it would be for me. That all changed when my sister in Law and I both signed up for our first 5k. We ran the super hero run supporting Casa who court appointed workers for young kids in the  foster system. Sissy and I aka (Sara) were both so excited and nervous for the run not only because it was our first run but it was up hill. We did the run we both rocked it, there is nothing like running with people for a cause it is the most adrenaline rush ever. Running to the end of the top of the hill to the finish line I cried. Seeing all the family there cheering you on is such a rush. During my whole journey with working out and running I have always admired a friend who has worked really hard to where she is. She didn't settle with being the way she was. Her name is Elisha and if know her already or haven't met her she will make you want to change. Her excitement and attitude towards a healthier life style is contagious. She has been a huge encouragement to me with running and working out. She does laugh at me I know because I have 6 kids she thinks I am crazy. It can be done with 6 kids I am a testament to that I know my husband works close but even if he didn't I would go when I could.Ask to ask that friend family member to watch your kiddos for that 30 minutes or less. I'm telling you people who see you wanting to be healthier and live that way won't say no in being there to help you achieve that.  You have to really want something to do it. Elisha has a blog  www.runelisharun.blogsot.com you can go visit her and see her transformation and what she is up to. Writing this blog isn't to point out what you aren't doing but to encourage you to what you can be doing. I challenge you this week with great weather to eat new healthy thing you haven't wanted to try. Go on a run,walk do some exercises I promise you, you won't regret it . Just think that run, walk or exercise you are already way ahead of that one person who is on the couch. Your body will thank you for it.
At 30 years old I am in the best shape of my life and I know my kids and husband thank me for it, I have way more energy and my moods are so much better and I'm not too tired for them.
Keep me posted and let me know what you tried you can't do anything wrong if you try.

Just wait on Him!!!! He knows what he is doing!

I Know I said it in my blogs before the time I will say we are ADOPTING!
Well THE NAPIERS are ADOPTING, not one not two but three precious boys.

Yesterday was the phone call I was waiting for the courts were deciding to terminate parental rights. Which means our boys are orphans to the state but adoptable to our family.

The phone call first came and I was told it would be continued which I wasn't shocked, bummed but it wasn't anything we have been through far worse. Then I found out it was continued to a different time. So it made me stop and just talk with God. I told him whatever his plans were we are still going to take in orphans even if its not supposed to be these boys that I trust him with this whole situation. So I took a nap yes this mama of 6 took a nap while all the other little's slept.

I woke up to the phone it was our county worker and she said " Michelle Termination of rights" I cried I couldn't believe it. I We have been in this process for two years and never have we ever been this far. The first words I heard is just wait on me I told you I knew what I was doing.

God had this all planned everything we have been through the ups the downs the pure HELL.
He knew all along these boys were coming and of course we didn't see it. Now we do my three precious boys who will melt your heart they are very loving and very curious and tend to be naughty at times. We are all going through this process together. They call me "MOMMY and at first everyone was Mommy but not now they are getting to be familiarized that we are Mommy and Daddy and they have 3 sisters who love them like no other. They will be Napiers and will forever be apart of this family. Yes this process was so fast compared to before. But we are done comparing this is NOW  this is our story now and we will be a family of 8. Crazy for me to think I am a Mama to 6 kiddos and I can't even describe the feeling to you. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would have 6 kiddos but God did. I got the phone call our case in in adoptions now.

This journey has only started and will get harder and easy at different times but Gods got this in the palm of his hands and we SUBMIT our lives to him. ALL this to the GLORY OF GOD! We don't take any credit for what we are doing because it is through him we are able.

SO yesterday was the day the day we could start fresh we could take our boys to get haircuts.
I was filled with excitement to be able to see their sweet beautiful faces they did so well. Barry the barber was so kind and was patient with them. Here our pics of yesterday.

Psalms 46:10
       BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD.

Averee Bella...

She is 7 my second baby girl who made me a mommy again:)
Averee was 8 pounds 1 ounce.
She has the sweetest smile.
She is the girl that will be in the mud hole with the boys and in the same day playing barbies and dress up.
Averee would give you the shirt off her back.
She will  let you know something about yourself you don't want to hear. We are working on that one(Tact).
She is my girl who will bring bugs on the house and not tell me.
She has brought unknown dogs into the home too.
Averee loves God more than anything in this world.
She has a huge compassion for orphans and the least of these.
If you want a hug she will give you one.

What she said that would make her birthday the most special is to keep her brothers.(praying)
She can make you laugh in 3 words.
She will try anything once.(Lord Help us)
If you know her you know she is not shy.
Twix are her absolute favorite.
She would rather drink water than anything.

         This girl is one of a kind and we are so blessed to have her. She has had some struggles on the way and we are getting through them. Her heart is so big she can't even size up to it.
                                          Thank you God for our precious Averee...