Yes it's Hard, but not Impossible...

Blogging does not come as easy as it used to for me.. I have more little ones to care for now. My time isn't different but just has changed how I spend it.

 We are getting a whole bunch of questions all ready like,

Is it hard?

How is going with 6?

Are you truly able to love them even though they could leave?

Why are you guys doing this?


People are curious for sure, I get it, what we do is crazy!! But here is the thing we don't do this for anyone's approval because if we did we would not get a lot of likes.

When people ask me, How its going? I don't know what they expect me to say. That its horrible, perfect, ect...

So here it is Yes it is hard. We just took in 3 strangers into our home who don't know us from Adam who have lived with different people for a year. They come with no boundaries not really any consistency so we have to work with them, sun up til sun down. They are the sweetest boys who just want to be loved on. When they first meet you they want to hug you right away and kiss you. Understanding English and even Spanish is difficult. The two oldest barely talk so we are working with them the oldest talks but you can not understand him very well. Our girls handle them so well they are very attentive to the boys. Lola is trying everyday her best to adjust she now has three other people to share her day with. A day that used to be by her self.

Ty and I are the best team to manage our chaos we have a good system and it works. He is my right hand man for sure. He has been gone a lot more with work stuff then he usually has been. I have learned a lot about my self during all this. It isn't impossible for me to be a  Mom to 6 kids. My attitude is what is going to make me that Good Mom and how I approach each day.


We are one month away from the termination of parental rights hearing means these boys will be in the process of being adopted into our home. I don't love them any less knowing it may not work out for some unknown reason. When you take these children in and you love them less because your afraid they might be leaving then you truly can't do this.

As the court day approaches it will seem unreal that we will be in the adoption phase. In 2 years we have been on every roller coaster adoption ride. It is hard loosing children who you invest you whole life and heart to but that's what loving others looks like. When you love someone out side yourself and know there is nothing in return you are going to get.

These 3 precious boys could stay or may have another kink and it not work out and they all say they will and will be adopted in our home. But what this whole thing has taught me is God started this whole adoption process by adopting us first!!! Just because we haven't "adopted" the children who have been in our home doesn't mean they aren't adopted. Because these our Gods children and he adopted them first!! If he chooses us to be the ones then we will. Until then we continue this journey with not underestimating what God is capable of doing.

                                                                          Ephesians 1:5
                                He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ,
                                                  according to the purpose of his will.















   

Blind Side...

 

Oh how this movie made a big impact in my life and I didn't even know it.

Ty and I this weekend decided to pull this movie out of our box. He did buy it for me a couple Christmas ago and I hadn't watched it yet. When Blind Side came out in 2009 I  saw the preview thinking I have to see that. So when it came out to dvd we rented it.

I didn't remember all the feelings I had watching it until this weekend. This movie played a big role in my journey to where we are now.

In 2009 we just had Lola our third daughter lived in a beautiful big house and just lived the everyday normal life. I saw in this movie a young man who had everything taken from him.

Living day to day so quiet no one would know what he has been through.

Then one scene changed me forever. I'll give you the scene, Leigh Ann the Mom and her husband Sean and their son S.J are driving in the rain coming home from their daughters volleyball game. Now it is raining mind you and they come to a stop sign and see, Big Mike a young man walking in the rain with no where to go. The husband Sean asks him "Where he is going?" Big Mike replied "The gym". Well they looked at him and rolled up their windows and turned and proceeded to drive away. Until the Mom, she did it yes she did, something most all of us our afraid to do. She had her husband turn around and she got out of the car and asked Micheal where he was going and to not lie to her. She then found out he had no where to go. She invited him back to their home.

Now I can play every role out this one is my favorite because it is so powerful to me. I won't ever forget seeing this scene for the first time I wanted to be just like Saundra Bullocks character. Taking a risk and knowing how blessed we are that we could allow someone to come live with us also. During that time my husband was not in that place in is life and adoption was just a thought. I think it meant so much to me also because I too was Micheal. Everyone could of looked at me and thought I was fine but no one knew what my home life was like. A broken home with a addict who's addictions made my world turn upside down. I moved out when I was a senior and a very special woman allowed me to live with her and her daughter. A kind christian woman who let me sleep in her home and I came home to no chaos no worrying at all what it would be like when I got home. I will never forget that 6 months of my life ever!!! I can't even begin to tell you the comfort I had it is indescribable feeling. Some kids just grow up with a Dad and Mom and a safe household I did not. 

I think why this movie makes me cry, have a sense of pride, feel for the Mom and definitely Micheal. I am a product of someone turning on their Blind Side and taking me in even when it may have not been in their plans.

I know we can get caught up in just looking straight  and not turning to our Blind Side but you have NO Idea what an impact or blessing you could be to someone when you do.

There are too many hurting children and adults that we may never know what they are going through, but I challenge you, Take that chance. Give God the reigns to take over if you are scared. Invest in someone you never know what a person is going through until you truly invest in them. If you are that someone who is going through that hard time know there is someone who wants to be there for you. The most important one is God of all creation he loves you know matter WHAT!!

My life has changed and is still changing I know I am where I am due to my path in life.

My hurts, struggles and love made my heart that much stronger and HE guides me though.

2Corinthians 4:6

"Let the Light shine out of Darkness"

BE THE LIGHT!

We are all Broken...

Ty and I were anticipating our drive because we knew in just 45 minutes we were going to meet 3 little's that could potentially be in our home.

We had our first meeting place in a small room at a human service building. This room is all white with a window that is placed for people to see in but you can't see out. Definitely not an inviting place but we made best out of the situation. As we walked in there were three little boys with such dark hair that covers there face. Hair that may not be cut because the parents said no! Such dark beautiful skin and dark brown eyes. A sweet baby who was playing with toys. The other two boys looked at Tyler and I and we sat on the floor to their level and said "Hello". These boys were typical boys who just wanted to play.

I observed everything about them I could thinking what have they been through what will they be like?

Ty who was in heaven had them wrestling with him and speaking spanish. The three year old can speak Spanish and English a match made for Ty who can speak spanish. We met the foster parents who spoke very little english. They were very kind and you can tell the genuinely love the boys but they can't continue to care for them. These foster parents had to be in their late 50's. We were able to communicate through Ty and the social worker with them so we could ask about the boys. The sweet foster Mom broke down and cried which made me cry because she is going to miss them. I so know how she feels!

We had the hour visit and said our Goodbyes. Ty and I left to have lunch and talk everything over. I was in complete shock!!! Ty ready raring to go. I couldn't grasp what just happened and what is about to happen. Three little boys are about to enter our sorta  normal home and I know for a fact it is all going to be turned upside down! These little boys were jumping on the coffee tables hitting going through my purse I just couldn't get a handle on it. So that whole day I was angry, sad, and overwhelmed.

Angry that we are starting this whole process over. That we just did this helping two boys last year from horrible habits and how hard that was. To thinking we are starting this all over. Sad that what I think is normal will not be anymore also knowing I will never have any more babies in the home. Overwhelmed that I will be mothering 6 kiddos. 3 kiddos which have not been raised with boundaries or really parents more like a grandparent style.

SO I am being perfectly HONEST!! I was ready to say no... 

I saw these three broken little boys and I wasn't sure I wanted to take them in and unfold it all.

 So through praying and talking with Tyler who is my voice of reason and rock. He told me you really need to pray about this and take whatever you think the fantasy case is out the window. He told me you said it yourself these children don't come from white picked fence situations.

That day I went for my run which I have taking up running and now I am addicted. Im at 2 miles right now. I clear my head a lot when I run. The song Crazy Love came on by

 Hawk Nelson. If you haven't listened to it you should the lyrics are great.

 Just then I realized we are all Broken. We are like these three little boys in that office and yet God still takes us and wants to be our Father. He doesn't look the other way because we are going to make mistakes and do things wrong. He loves us no matter what we do.

 GRACE... He extends it,He is it and He gives it to us.

I just finished my run and this all came to me. Just then I realized I will not let my fears or selfish reasons for following through what God has called us to do.

Trust me I am scared and excited all at the same time. ADOPTION needs an equal sign next to it that Says "CRAZY, RISKY, HARD, SELFLESS, BLESSING and so many more.

God truly help me see why I was feeling that way. To really look at my own life and the way God has been there for me.

These three little boys need parents, boundaries, love and for them to know there is a relentless God who Loves them.

They come this week for a day, meet the girls and will see their new house. I am praying the transition goes smoothly for them. I am praying that God will help me minimize any expectations for right now and that we will take this 1 day at a time.

 We are ready for them I have made their beds and got the rooms ready. I look at them thinking these could permanently have sleeping boys in it. 

This came up on my computer and it spoke to me then ever!!!!

 

Be RECKLESS for God he knows how everything will turn out!!

    

  

On our way to being a family of 8!!!

  After our meeting yesterday with the adoption county worker which I was so ancy to meet with all day. Ty and I feel good about the road we are headed on.

The county worker asked some great questions. The one she asked that I won't ever forget is " What is motivating you two to want to take in 3 little boys?" Now Ty and I both answered we live a blessed life and want to be able to provide a home for children in need of one. Now we told her if we didn't go through what we just did with our other boys we probably couldn't of said yes. I just thought it was funny because

I know she thought we are nuts...

 Tyler and Trent I feel left us with tools and prepared us for what can be. We went through crazy times with 5 kiddos and we got through it. We told her we never sat down and said " We want 6 kids we just feel that we are going to be able to do it". We are not in la la land thinking it is going to be peaches and cream. It will be hard and we will be tired but it is so worth it to us. My heart breaks for what these 3 precious boys have had to endure. I know we aren't going to bring them in and save them, but we will love and walk along side them during struggles they will have.

I can't even put into words the emotions I am feeling, I am so overwhelmed with God's Love. I never thought this is where we would be 6 month's to the date after the boys leaving. We will never forget the three special boys who helped us on this journey even if meant hard times and letting them go. Our journey to adoption has been the most trying in our lives but we press forward. Nothing is ever a guarantee even with these new little ones. We know when we say yes doesn't mean that is what goes.

When you stay in the comforts of your life you will never TRULY know h0w God will use you. So for right now we yes and will love and care for these precious boys and if its Gods will they will forever be apart of our Family. 

On a funny light note, they are very young...The three year old turned 3 in October, the 2 year old turned 2 in November and the one year old just turned 1 in December.   Yes we are Crazy but Crazy about the ONE who chose us!!!!

We meet the boys next week and we will all slowly transition for them coming into our home. Please pray for these 3 boys and our 3 girls and Ty and I as we are all about to board the CRAZY TRAIN!!!

 We are excited for the ride...  

All aboard CHOO CHOO...

Blessed is the one who trust in the Lord.

      Jeremiah 17:7

 

Update...

Ok, so we found out today our family is considered for the boys.

It doesn't stop right there we are going to meet with the county worker

next Tuesday. She wants to meet with us and come see our home and get a feel for what we are like. I mean you think it does sound crazy that a family with three girls of their own would say yes to three toddler boys. I would want to meet them too.  lol

This is a exciting part of this adventure for us it doesn't guarantee anything just gives us hope that we can be on the path to our forever family.

So next Tuesday we will have one meeting with someone who will decide if we are the right fit for the boys. Ty and I talked and we will pray that we don't get lead astray and  use the time with her to build our selves up. That our hearts will show why we are in this. That the love and support these children need will be met in this home. Also she wants to know that we have support oh how I wish I could have everyone here in our home that has been part of this journey with us. Today made Tyler and I realize how truly blessed we are in the support and love category. That any children who will forever be part of this family will receive.

One more week until we know what changes will be happening for our family. 

 We are willing to do Gods work even if it is scary and we feel reluctant. 

 How blessed we are that he chose us.

Anticipation.....

6 months of a new sense on life and about our selves. The boys have been gone for that long. It has gone by so fast. In this time we haven't given up on Hope or what God has called us to do. We all have our times of when we are sad but that is normal.

I can't tell you how much love and support I felt through this blog I have received so much encouraging words and prayer and I can feel it. God has never left our side through all of this even though I might of had a bad day and felt like that.  HE has reminded me that I am the one who chooses JOY. It has been so calm here going from 5 to 3 back in our same routine sleeping through the night.

We definitely pray for God to reveal who he has for our family and that we will do his will whatever comes our way.

So that can be happening as I found out yesterday, and like I always have said "one phone call could change our life". 

I don't want to give so much detail because we don't know what is happening for sure.Know I will keep you posted. Please pray for our family and for guidance that next week as we find out what could potentially change our lives. Prayer is so powerful and I know it works.

This verse is so my heart right now. For if it is meant to be it will be.

                                            Be Joyful always, pray continually,

                                     GIVE THANKS IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES,

                                 For This is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

                                                     1Thessolonians 5:16-18

                                               XOXO  Michelle and the Napier Crew...

Coming Together as Mommies...

  So there is a big thing that kind of relates you to someone even if you don't know them one thing you might share in common. If you have children it's called Mommyhood.

Being a Mommy it has so many components that go with it. Yes there are books out when you are first Mom but no book can tell you how its going to go when you are a new Mom and even along the way into being a Mother. 

I think as Moms we need to come together instead of dragging each other down. Our stories can relate to someone who is in the same boat and you don't even know it. I truly think that is the only way to help each other as Moms is to be real and share your stories and how you got through it.

This brings me to my next thing a dear friend of mine is starting a book club for Mommies on facebook. It is going to be private and it will be confidential just to the other Moms who are in it also. The book she is doing it on is called 

Desperate: 

Hope for the Mom who Needs to Breath

 By, Sarah Mae, Sally Clarkson

This book is for us Moms who love their children to death, but yet cry because things are so crazy. I ordered the book on Amazon it was super easy.

Now you don't have to own the book to join.

Go to the facebook page Langgangloves and pm her and tell her you would like to be part of this.

 She then will add you to the site since it is private.

I encourage you try it. Nothing but hope and support can come from a group like this.

xoxo  Michelle