Finding Joy in what God HAs called us to do.

 It is has been a while since I have blogged about our adoption journey. It seems like we have had the cry wolf situations, of the Napier's are adopting twice and both failing miserably. You are probably thinking how can you say that. I am being honest, twice now we have attempted to bring in forever children to our home and it hasn't happened. Oh the suffering in it is HARD having two failed attempts that would get you. If you didn't have God in the center of it which we have. Having friends and family so involved with the ones you bring in because you think they will end up being yours people get attached and start to bond. So when there is a crucial decision made that affects EVERYONE it is rough. Our family is healing our girls are doing good. They still want to talk about them and they are allowed to as much as they want. We don't act like they were never here. We like to remember different things that went on during the time we had them. It as been 2 1/2 months since we went from a family of 7 to 5. We are back to the 5 like we were before maybe a little different because of what we went through. I mean I have my days. Two weeks ago it all came out and I wish I could take that day back but I can't. It was not fun. It was pure anger that came out it happened it finally happened. I snapped I was so angry at God and screaming at him. WHY WOULD YOU ALLOW ME TO BRING IN CHILDREN TO  OUR HOME AND TURN MY HOUSE AND KIDS UPSIDE DOWN?? I couldn't hold it any longer. I was angry that our family had to experience what we just went through. My crying turned into sobbing because I realized then that we were called to do this hurting or no hurting. And that is wasn't about us at all. It was about loving these two special people even if God planned for them to leave because they are Gods children and I knew right then that God was hurting too. We can't put stipulations on what God has called us too. Your heart has to be all in or its truly not for Him!!!

 So I know what your thinking are they going to do this again?? I mean we read her blog and cry at all her stories how could they? I will tell you why because we were called to something AND WE KNOW IN THE BOTTOM OF OUR HEARTS GOD WILL HONOR IT. That one day my blog will say " WE ARE ADOPTING AMEN" and can't wait til that day but until then we will persevere and know God has a plan for us and we will wait in JOY. Remember we don't live this life for ourselves we live to serve others even if that means God gives and takes away.                                                                                                                                                        
                                                             Proverbs 23:18
                  You will be rewarded for this; your hope will not be disappointed.

Moms to Daughters

 Many of my followers are Mommies and some of you are Moms to daughters and this culture we live in now that is so vein and into me me me.. We need to be the example to our daughters of what is truly important. Don't get me wrong I like to dress up and look nice like any other woman in a healthy way . But I want to be the example to my girls of what is really important. Be the example!!


For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!
--Sam Levenson

One MonthToday..

                                                              

                   Have you ever seen a movie that you think wow I have been there, I get the movie.

 Well The Odd Life of Timothy Green, All I can say is GREAT..

I know everyone has their opinions on movies but this movie was so well written.It didn't Hollywood the script . I mean a little maybe a kid coming from the garden I get it. The writing of this movie had so much more than that. We took our girls to go see it and thought it looked cute and fun to go as a family. What was to come about we did not expect at all. It was like this movie was meant for our family to see. We just experienced everything they went through with different terms and circumstances. A family though who deals with loss but not really. A son they so hoped for and wanted. I won't give the movie away but you have to go see it. This little boy gave everyone such a positive change in there lives even when they didn't think it wasn't a blessing when truly that is why he was there. He allowed his parents to see what they were capable of doing. 

Goes without saying Tyler and I held our hands so tight and wiping from our eyes over and over. This movie truly touched our hearts because we had Timothy except his name was Tyler and he shined brightly and left a blessing to everyone he met. His little brother Trent allowed people to love the loveless. Today has been one month since I had to say goodbye our boys. I MISS them more than you could imagine. Tonight at dinner we all went around saying our favorite memories of the boys were. 

Averee shared her favorite memory was holding Trent and having Tyler get to be in her kindergarten class.

Faiths memory was knowing when Trent would cry she would just have to pick him up and he would smile at her and stop, and the way Tyler made her laugh.

Lola's memory, not like she knew what we meant she said I love my brothers.

My memory was hearing Trent baby talk it was so sweet and Tyler had the best laugh it made me smile from ear to ear hearing it. 

Tyler's memory was when he would get Trent out of his crib he would kick his legs and smile at him and the way Tyler would jump on him when he got home from work. The way he would say "Sup Daddy".

 Tears are falling from my face as how I wish I could say this is just an everyday thing. 

Not a memory we talk about at dinner because they aren't here.

But today I say this

Thank you God for those memories to have. For we are better to have had our boys then to have never had them at all. These boys showed our family how we are capable to love and do things we never thought we could do as a family. I really recommend to see the movie and bring tissue. You will see why it was meant for our family. This was a good time for all of us to see it.

 

Little ears..

 

  Music in the car... I always play music in the car in less the kids and I are talking about something or they are watching their dvd player. The music now days it can be filled with so much inappropriate messages and language. I am guilty to the next sometimes with what I listen too.

I usually leave it on our local k-love christian radio the kids and I love it. The songs in themselves our like a personal prayer or struggle that I am dealing with. Worshiping is one of my biggest form of prayers to God.

While Little Tyler was with us he loved listening to K-love he had never heard of that kind of music before. He came from hearing  rap music. When we would be changing the station and that type of music would come on he would always ask us to keep it there. We would always tell him that it wasn't good for him to listen too.

Well that is when it started his love for christian music. He would love to hear what it would say and asked me to always turn it up. I can remember one time singing out loud with him in the car together.

Then there was this one day I will never forget.

This song came on 

Tyler said to me " Mommy this isn't our home hugh? Our home is with God in heaven" I said " You are exactly right Buddy" I cried all the way home with tears of Joy. This little guy has come so far and he gets it!!!! He got it. I still hold on to that day and will forever that he got it. He left our home knowing God will forever be in his heart and this isn't his permanent home wherever he is.. Amen....

Faith is 9..

 This little one made me Mommy first. She was the easiest and tiniest

baby.

Faith is growing up to be such a sweet spirit. If you know her she is very shy. She loves to play outside, ride her bike and dancing is a passion of hers. 

I am so proud of of the little person she is becoming. She was made to be the first born because let me tell you she is the most amazing older sister. Her compassionate heart has inspired me along the way. When our family grew from 3 to 5 over night Faith was my side helper all the time. Her heart is big and loves to help out with little ones. She is going to make a fantastic baby sitter for you Mommies with little ones down the way..hint hint..

She wants to do right, and her love for God is abundant. Faith is her own person and and I am so grateful for her. Just yesterday Faith won and made into her student Council to run for a class representative. She made a speech and had to say it in front of her class. I could never do that at her age. She makes me so proud of her for willingness to put her self out there.

Today is a day that embarked my journey into Mommyhood for that I am so blessed. Faith has made her name to the meaning for sure it fits her so perfect in every way.

Happy Birthday Sweet FAITHIE...

Getting through the Storm

Ugh... The Storm who wants to being going through that? We live this life hoping to never go through one or even experience it. Why would we right?

Now why do we do that? Want to live this life with no pains or misery when we know God has the ultimate plan for our lives. I mean if you are a Christ Follower you Trust Him. Yet when you are in the Storm you ask to get out or never go through it. We are only Human that's why! When we pray we  ask for blessings and healing, and in our case the boys not leaving our home.

With our adoption process being the craziest storm we have gone through in one year I can look at that and say someone has had it worse. God brought us to our storm which was different then someone else. Yet when you're going through yours you think there is no possible way it can be worse than what I am going through. So how do we know that when you pray or ask for blessing for someone they have to go through a storm to be blessed. I know with what our family has been through it would be like we are scarred for life and would be in a black hole. I actually talked with our adoption worker and she said "Our cases have been the craziest cases they have ever gone through". Even they didn't know how to handle it. I am not saying that you are a bad person if you don't pray and ask to go through a storm, just know we aren't exempt to go through one. Now you may live this life and never experience any type of storm. Yet for me it is hard to believe and you should be kind of worried if God never brought you to one. God boasted about how we come to him when everything says we shouldn't.
 
Beth Moore once said

 "God doesn't Lie so his boast are always based on truth. He permits and sometimes dictates difficulty for those in whom He boast so that they will PROVE what he already knows is true. The Lord does not put us to the test that He knows in advance we don't have the wherewithal to pass. How we ever know what he's accomplished in us if he doesn't show us? And how will Satan otherwise be proved a liar in our eyes?."

In your life what ever you go through or may even be going through make Satan a Liar and God be the truth. WE can choose how we react through our storms. I choose to get out of bed and be the wife and Mommy to my little girls. I choose JOY. Trust me I have bad days I also know God gave us tears and I use them.. Trust me. I am just trying to say I have been there and when you are at the bottom of that black hole God is on top with his hand coming down to lift you out, because he was sitting right there when you fell in and never left and won't!!! Just allow him to grab your hand and bring you out because if you don't he can't get you out. I am Hopeful for what is ahead for our Family and the little ones God is preparing for us.

Being Thankful...

    Being Thankful is something we can all struggle with. I know my self that I can get caught up with focusing on what I don't have rather than what I do have. We live in era that tells you, You can only be happy with fulling every desire or want you have. When really we should be centered on what God has Blessed your Life with already.  

This morning I was reading a blog in how as Christians do we really take the time to say, Thank you. Right now in the midst of our lives I can say "Thank you God for my blessings in my life. I know from the outside it might not look like you would call it a blessing, but it is from God.

If we took the time out of our day to embrace what we have, rather than what we don't. The joy won't be robbed of what is really good. When was the last time a blessing or gift, not a tangible gift. A gift from God to you came and went and you weren't thankful.

For me, is the Boys they were a gift to our lives and for that I am Thankful. Even when you don't think it's a gift, Gifts are from God and we need to remember that they can be gone in a blink of an eye. What is here today can be gone tomorrow, I can attest to that.   Try to through out your day to thank God for your blessings or the gifts from him. The soft warm cheeks you get to kiss to the ones who call you Mommy. The warm bed you get to sleep in at night, the way the sunset and made you smile. These are just all examples everyone has something they can be Thankful for even if you feel like you have nothing.

Don't let the I wish or I want or I don't have get in the way of the the real blessings in your life.

 Thessalonians 5:18

  Be Thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.