Grandma Mary....

    

 This is one of those blogs I have always known I was going  to write. But when writing it would be because she would no longer be here anymore. You know that one person in your life who you have such a stronghold to, the one who could make anything seem like it would be ok! 

Well for me, that was my Grandma Mary, a lady who made my world better. I didn't have the best up bringing in the world different story for another blog,, but I did have Grandma Mary. Her house was like a safe place you knew as soon as you walked in the doors nothing bad could happen. 

She would be standing there in the doorway ready to greet you with a kiss. I was always greeted with   "Hi Meeshell"    that is what she called me my whole life in her little Mexican accent. See my Papa Rae passed away when I was 3 and my Grandma never remarried she was a widow for 29 years. Being at Grandmas you knew you would get to eat dinner on Tv trays with her in her living room I would sleep with her even until I was 17 and every night was the same routine. Curlers in her hair and Bengae lotion on her arms. Wow was it such a strong scent. Breakfast in the morning was like no other, I mean lets get serious a Mexican Grandma in the Kitchen even a restaurant couldn't compare. Eggs,beans, salsa, potatoes and bacon. When my brother Noah and I would go there in the summer I couldn't wait. But I knew my Grandma would prepare herself. We were a handful that's for sure.

 See my Grandma never drove she was to scared, so we took the city bus everywhere we went. She lived right around the corner of Mc Dondalds and we would walk there but see with Grandma you always had to hold her hand or she would not take you. As I got older I spent more time just sitting in her living room with her talking about her life with Papa and as a Mom to four kids. I will forever cherish those times. In her kitchen growing up she had a owl cookie jar and you knew it was always filled with chocolate chip cookies, until she had to start  buying the healthy ones. Her candy bowl out in the living room was a tempting source of trouble when you were told no and you would sneak one in your pocket. As I talk about her and I wish so badly she was here I can't even begin to say how grateful I am for memories, because isn't that all we have? 

Grandma Mary was the most giving woman I had ever met her Faith was very strong. He kind heart is what made her so special. The day of my wedding I got the worst anxiety attack and wouldn't walk down the isle until she got there. I can't even describe the feeling I had when she walked in the back of the church. I will never forget how she smelled how soft her skin was and what she said to me. "Meeshell your going to be ok Tyler is a good boy" See I get my anxiety from my Grandma she was too scared to be in the wedding party and walk down the isle so she didn't. HA...

As I became a Mom it was my geatest Joy bringing my girls to her. I had heart problems so I had to deliver at Ucla but the biggest blessing of that is I was only 5 minutes from her house so directly leaving the hospital we went straight to Grandma Marys. She had the biggest smile on her face and would sing them the same song she sang to me. Chonie, chonie, chonie, chonie, chonie chone. I even have it on video which is the best thing to watch. I know a song about underwear but my kids even know it because I sang it to them. When she started to get sick and went into the home that was really hard because I knew her mind and her body was failing and it was't Grandma Mary anymore. 

My Grandma gave me so many baths as a little girl which I dreaded because she would scrub her nails into my scalp and it hurt. lol But she always made sure I was clean and ready for bed with her red cinnamon toothpaste I loved using. Then one day roles were reversed I was in the same bathroom giving her a bath because she could no longer do it herself.  What she said to me I can hardly type. "God Bless you Meeshell for doing this for me". She was in her most vulnerable state and I was taking care of her and I wouldn't of had it any other way. It reminded me of The I'll love you forever book, if you haven't read it you must. But warning a tear jerk. The day I found out she passed I just sat there with no emotion because I didn't know what to even think. She has been the one person in my life I have never wanted to loose. My girls  love her as much as me she was their GG. They spent a lot of time with her. Her service was beautiful and we celebrated a Great woman. She will never be forgotten and Mary Esparza's legacy will live on. Heck have you seen Lola she is the spitting image of her and sass too. Be grateful for the family that imprints on your heart its one of Gods Greatest blessings.

Hope is not Forgeotten...

 We grew up going to the same church went to Sunday school together and youth group.

                                         She was shy and quiet and I was loud and not shy.

                            We didn't hang out in school but always said Hi to one another.

We both worked at local business after and during high school. I married Ty July 7, 2001, and she got married July 6, 2002. 

We met up again after I was married I would see her working at the store where I  grocery shopped.

 I wasn't able to attend her wedding since we were going away for our 1 year anniversary. Us and our husbands would get together as we were both newlyweds.

 In January of 2003 I called to tell her I was pregnant to only have her tell me right back she was too...

 We both laughed and couldn't believe it we were going to be pregnant together.  We would always ask how the other one was feeling we were 3 weeks apart. I was due at the end of August and her in September.

In April Ty and I found out we were having a girl and we were going to name her Faith. Jen was so excited for us. Jen was having her ultra sound a month later and she asked me to come with her ans her sister and Mom. I was so excited. 

Jen picked me up when it was her day to go see her baby she looked so cute in a maternity clothes. I think her and I would laugh at what we wore when we were pregnant back then.

 Now Jen did not want to find out what she was having so we were just going to see that precious baby growing inside her.

Now before I go on I just want to say this isn't my story this is Jens. I asked her for permission to share my side I don't want to display anything of Jen this is just what I experienced with her. She told me I could share.

We went into the ultra sound room all of us walking in there excited to see even though she wasn't finding out. Lights went out and there was this precious baby on screen. Then the whole room stopped it got silent and dark. The ultra sound tech didn't speak she called for the doctor. Jen's eyes swelling with tears, her mom and sister staying by her side. I was speechless. My sweet sweet friend was just told that the baby wasn't going to make it after birth. So then Jen decided she wanted to know what she was having. Jen was having a girl a precious baby girl. A girl who was going to make the biggest impact. We all gathered around Jen and cried out in prayer over her. They then called her into this room for further counsel. She was then asked if she wanted to terminate her pregnancy?  I will never forget the look on her face as she said " No No way that isn't what I believe". She then asked me to have Ty bring her husband down not knowing anything. I had to call Ty and tell him but not why just to grab him and get down here. Jen is incredible strong woman. She hugged me after this all went down and said "Thank you for being here" What???? This woman who just found out her baby girl wasn't going to make it after birth gives me a hug and consoles me!!!! I tried to be so strong for her but as I got in the car I lost it. Our baby girls were supposed to grow up together this wasn't fair. This amazing Godly young woman is going to endure some tragic loss and she knows it. Jen endured many visits for the baby at Ucla to understand her prognosis. We were on a walk together and we just would talk about how their baby girl could be healed and our God was bigger. She looked at me and asked if I would care but they wanted to name her Hope. I absolutely did not care and thought it was the most perfect name for her baby girl.

I struggled so much with guilt during this pregnancy because I never wanted to make her feel bad for what she was going through. Even sending her a baby shower invite was so hard. But you know who was there with a amazing smile and love Jen was. 

In July Ty and I were at my Moms in Valencia we had been swimming and I did not feel well all day. I started getting a really bad headache I told him to take me to the hospital just to make sure.

So on the way home we went to the hospital and sure enough I was admitted for dehydration.

Now can I just tell you, don't think of anything less of Gods timing because this will blow you away.

As I was able to leave after being re hydrated, I see Jen's dad standing in the hall way. I asked what he was doing there he said,  Jen came in she was having Hope. Having Hope? she wasn't due til September. No, she was having her. We waited in the waiting room as he said she would want me to be there. Now remember cell phones were not like they are today so getting a hold of each other isn't like it is. I didn't know what to expect if Jen was going to be able to hold her baby girl if see was going to be alive when she got here. And God is sooo sooo Good. Hope was frail but she was alive. I walked into this hospital room and see my friend with this smile I cant even explain.

 A tiny precious baby wrapped in a white blanket being held by her mother who loves her more than she would ever know. Surrounded by all her family. Jen looks at me and I tell you these words

I will never forget what she said to me.. " Michelle I can't wait for you to be a Mom this is the best thing ever" Her knowing I was having a healthy baby and her knowing her daughter had minutes hours to live. 

 I started crying how Did God put this selfless friend in my life I didn't deserve her friendship. Because I know I could have never said that.

Pause.... Crying uncontrollably...

Ok back... She gave Hope to me who was so tiny and had the blackest hair I have ever seen. She was  beautiful. This baby so precious and I couldn't stop thinking how I was able to meet this baby girl I knew so much about and prayed for. Jen let me hold her let me hold her baby girl who wasn't going to be on this earth for long. I gave her back and said our goodbyes and Jen and I could not believe we were at the hospital together. I was so in awe that God intervened and I was able to be there with my friend.

 The next day Hope past in her Daddy's arms. 

Jen was so strong during this she didn't even get angry. Hopes service was absolutely beautiful. Jen was so warm and inviting and wanted no one to be angry but to thank God for everything. Watching my friend see her precious daughter inside of this tiniest white casket you have ever seen was heart breaking. I watched this Mother sob in tears knowing her daughter was no longer here.

A month later I had Faith and I am saying something I have a hard time with. I purposely didn't call Jen to tell her I had her. I couldn't tell her. I felt it would be too much. But you know who called me Jen she was sad I didn't call her and wanted to come see Faith.

 Jen came over and held Faith and told me how sweet she was and she was so happy she was here.

Jen truly doesn't know what a impact she made on me and what True Grace looks like. Jen has a heart of of gold and I am forever grateful she is in my life. We definitely may not always keep in touch but she is one friend that will always be in my heart. She has two beautiful children, Tyller, and Jet. Her daughter Hopes legacy lives on even if she was here for a very short time.

 This July Hope would of been 11.

 Being that Mothers Day coming up I wanted to share this story of one incredible mother...

Love you Jen girl.

    In Jens words...

 "He never promises us a easy path, but He is with us every step of the way"

Wait for it..... Adoption day!!!!!

WARNING.... This blog you may need tissues after reading.

Friday January 31st, I woke up in a utter excitement I can't even explain not only was my husband home from us being apart 3 months and I wasn't going to be single parenting to 6. This day was something I had only envisioned and dreamed about for 3 years. I thought i was ready for it a couple of times but God knew what he was doing even when I didn't. All I could think about was that my three boys were going to be ours. I mean we thought they were but this day marked the day. A day when we would no longer be with social workers, paperwork, someone looking over your shoulders the one worry always in the back of our minds are they staying or going. Ty and I were packing all that morning and couldn't stop talking about how in just a couple hours we were going to have 3 boys. Because if you didn't know we were also moving out of California that night also. When we Napier's do something we go all out "obviously" we are crazy. So we got the girls dressed up and I wanted my boys to look dapper so they all wore bow ties but the best was when their Daddy wore his to match. We have had so many friends and family on this crazy 3 year journey with us. I can't even explain to you that made a huge impact on us. It was walking to the court and seeing how many people came to witness our boys becoming Napier's. One of our friends drove 5 hours just to be there. during this process sometimes you feel alone but on this day God showed us how much our family means to others. Our group that came that day filled the whole top floor of the court room, the sheriff said" this is the most he had ever seen." Ty and I could not believe it we were overwhelmed by the love and  compassion everyone had for our family especially our boys.

It came time and they called us back and I couldn't stop smiling I couldn't even cry because I was overwhelmed by JOY this was really happening.Ty with tears forming in his eyes. he couldn't hold it back. Our three boys were going to have a forever family. A chance of really knowing the love of a family no foster homes no in and out of inconsistency.  The judge asked us to come forward and sit and asked us questions. I was so excited i would answer before he was done.lol He even told me hold on. I just couldn't help it. Then he asked us to stand and asked us if we promise to take them on until their adult age with whatever comes with that, We proudly said yes!!!! Then he said I know declare them as
Nixon Caleb Napier, Kai Josiah Napier, and Talon James Napier. Everyone in that court room cheered, clapped not a dry eye in there. These three boys no longer left as orphans of the state.

The girls were so excited saying you are our brothers you are Napier's now. The Napier name will go on, how neat is that. Now just know it was a amazing day and we are so grateful to God for this but I just want to completely honest. Adoption is hard, it is a blessing and beautiful but it is also ugly, tiresome and not for the weak. Yes our boys are now Napier's yet we still struggle with the struggles they have from what they have been through. Our three boys still have a long way to go and have come far but still will deal with issues of their young upbringing before they came to us.

I just can't believe they are my sons. Never did I imagine I would have boys little lone 3 of them. I do love them so even when they make me want to scream and hide. They never asked to be orpahns but I am so grateful God placed me to be their MOMMY. When they do have troubles and struggle I will be their voice and fight for them and they will always know they were wanted.
Because with adoption there is always loss, they do have 2 birth parents we don't know them or anything about them really. I can't even imagine what they may have gone through. I am grateful to their Mom for choosing life because she did there are three sweet boys with the biggest brown eyes who can melt your heart.  Our boys will always know they are adopted it will never be a secret. When they get older we will tell them their gotcha day story and as they get older age appropriate, tell them more. My boys know they grew in my heart and not in my belly. When they go to school they will bring cupcakes and read a adoption book to kids at school January 31st is their gotcha day. It isn't to make them stick out but to make kids aware that adoption isn't a weird thing and they may not look like their daddy just Mommy..lol but they are apart of their family just as much as their sisters. Blood doesn't make you a family we are testaments to that.

Gods goodness is overwhelming he has blessed us more than we deserve. In the pits of hell we went through he was there with us through it all and he knew how it would end up. My boys were planned out for our family before I even thought I knew. Don't give up on God because he NEVER gives up on you.

I want to share the verse that means so much to me I got it tattooed on my arm

For we are is workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.    Ephesians 2:10

Saying GoodBye to a small Town.

I woke up super early because this post was on my mind all night.

Leaving a small town you grew up in your whole life how do you leave it without saying goodbye and all the memories you have in it. I mean my little town who just got a Starbucks recently and now has more than one stop light. Where your graduating class had no more than maybe 300 kids and you were always guaranteed a train coming through your graduation ceremony and it would be freezing temperatures. My little town where you grow up knowing so many people of all walks of life. If you stayed after high school you made friends with people you went to school with and even the ones you didn't hang out with in high school. My husband and I are high school sweet hearts and never left. Got a small apartment and stayed. This little town you can go to the grocery store and see someone you know 9 out of 10 times and your kids will end up going to school with kids from friends you had in school. Also your kids could end up having the same teacher you did in elementary, now that's when you know your old. (hint me).

But more to this small town is the people who have been apart of our lives.I would have never met some of the very very special people in my life. I know our family is known by many but I know that also from inviting so many people into our lives. If it has steamed from church, school,  facebook, some kind of connection. Many of my readers are people I have hung out with in high school, as an adult and even elementary. With these people also came my teachers, a very special bus driver "Miss Anna", coaches, pastor of our churches.
 Many of you have been over to our house for dinner because I love having people over. If we even lost touch doesn't mean I don't think about you or remember you. I have thrown many bridal and baby showers for lot's of friends of mine in this little town.  Sometimes in a little town someone knows something about you before you do. HA. In a small town comes boyfriends you grew up with. Thankfully they weren't serious just high school, jr high phases and in my case even elmeantary. Some of my best memories are from high school didn't have the best home life but I sure did with my friends in school. I can't believe I am writing this because I thought we would reside here til our kids were old. Now we are headed to a huge city  where we will know very little and probably won't see people we know at the store or  kids at a sporting event. A new church where there is more than 300 people that go. I thought it would be easy to leave this little town but it isn't at all. I am going to miss it and the people in it. I cry as I type because today is an overwhelming day. It is my boys adoption today. Many of you have prayed for our family and if you live in this town know us and seen what we have been through. But today is a special day it marks as our boys "GOTCHA" day and we move today. I know when the Napier's do something they do it crazy. A huge sincere thank you to everyone who reads my blog and has loved on my children and Ty and I. I won't forget about anybody and the  memories they don't fade easy. It has been a wild ride and this town will always be apart of us. Heck they even featured our family in the  towns local magazine. lol not a big deal I know. Keep up with us on my blog as I will continually write and whats going on. Our family is made complete today well almost..... You never know with us.  I do have to share one more thing about this small town is there is no, Costco, walmart, Target, or any chain store. I truly did despise that but towns like that don't really exits anymore. I won't take it for granted that we didn't have them. I am going into culture shock where all those stores are 5 minutes away. I didn't say the name of the small town just for some reasons but if you know you know:)

                                                               Much Blessings
                                                                       Michelle                Romans 8:28

No I am not Super Mom, Just Super Crazy!!!

 Oh wow,
 How it has been forever since I have blogged. The last blog was to tell you that we are moving to Az and I am staying back with all 6 kids by myself. What a crazy roller coaster these two and half months have been. Raising 6 kids on your own will do something to you physically and mentally. I have never screamed so much, I have cried enough to fill a bath tub. Eating sometimes doesn't happen because I have to get the next thing going with the day. So then the comments come you look super skinny are doing ok?? More comments you are super Mom how do you do it?  These past couple months go something like this, 2 weeks of the whole family getting the flu. Lots of out of sorts children because life just got a whole lot different. Mom is a little more on edge. Family dog has to go live Gran parents because if Mom has to take care of one more thing she is going to go mental more than she already is. A day with all of them is wake up early enough before them because if I don't something will happen. I don't want  to wake up early because I am so exhausted from the day before. Make everyone breakfast get out 4 sippy cups and if you know about sippy cups it is such tedious work. Clean up breakfast mess because if you know me yes I am that bad Mom and my house is always clean its what makes me feel better. I always laugh when I see that sign that says" you know your a good mom when you have sticky floors, dirty ovens". I am a bad Mom because I can't function with a dirty house. Its my ocd.

After breakfast is all cleaned up and the two oldest are out the door its time to dress the 4 little's which takes forever. my boys skin is so ashy so with dressing all 3 comes teeth brushing, lotion all over and clean face. Then to do their sisters hair which is like Rapunzel hair. then I must make them all sit in my bathroom every time I get ready to watch them. The whole day goes like this repeating its self. Naps is my favorite time of the day. 4 little people are on the same schedule so praise Jesus. My two oldest girls have been a huge help to me these couple of months. Everything I have gone through I think I am crazy for even saying yes to this. Yes to my husband working across state while I raise our kids back home. Have you met me I am not one who would have ever volunteered this. Never was having 6 kids in the cards, I even know how crazy that sounds. But let me tell you what I have learned. God thinks I am able and entrusted me with them.
I doubt myself everyday but I don't doubt what God thinks of me. My kids are forgiving and I have to remember that. I am crazy not Super Mom but I am crazy about doing work for God. Not only did we take in children we took in half of what we already had. There are days when I hit the floor and kick and scream. Then there are other days when I take a deep breathe and think WOW we got through today. This journey has been wild that for sure. Sometimes a conversation with my husband doesn't even happen in the day because its to chaotic. If something can go wrong with the process of the move it has. Changes have happened a lot and I am honest when I say I don't roll with the punches. Just yesterday another mishap with the move. Just goes to to show me I am not in control and to remember who is. Last Sunday getting everyone dressed and ready for first service was a mission. That morning was not pretty although I sat in the seat of the car thinking this isn't me all the Glory goes to God.  Trust me when I say the hardest things you try to stay away from because you don't think you can do it, HE will get you through it. There is no way I could take credit for all that has happened. This blog has a lot of I's in it which brings me to a verse. " I can do all things though Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

So I don't claim to be Super Mom just Super crazy for a God who loves me unconditionally. 

We are one day before we start this journey in Az tomorrow our Boys will adopted that is a whole other blog for another day. Can't believe they will be Napier's. Many of you have followed our journey for these last 3 years. I want to let you know tomorrow is a big day and if you want to see and be apart of something amazing we invite you to come. We have friends and family from all walks of life going to be there. Yes its 15 minutes long but you get to watch 3 boys who will be entered ino a forever family. PM me if you would like to go. Today is also my girls last day of  school where they will say goodbye to teachers and friends they have ever known. Pray for our family as these 2 days will be very emotional and chaotic. We move tomorrow and pack up our whole house and life of all we have ever known.

ORHAN SUNDAY

 This picture was taken last year right after loosing the boys and we were waiting to see what God had for our family. The sign said Napier's and still growing. We grew alright times three. Today we will take our Family pictures and there will be 3 special little boys in it. What a special day to take our family pics which symbolizes so much more.

            Today is a big day to this family and I know to a bunch of others. Today is Orphan Sunday,
We give great notice to the children out there without forever homes to the Orphans who are and who will be. Then we celebrate that there are 3 less orphans, because they are going to be Napier's. I want to shout with Joy that our boys are no longer orphans and in just a short couple months will be apart of our Family. This blog post is so important to me because I truly want to bring awareness to the orphans out there. We aren't that special amazing family who wants to be noticed because we are adopting we want to bring notice that anyone can adopt or foster or come along side the orphans in distress. There are 147 million orphans without homes that is way too many. God specifically calls us to look after orphans and widows. He knew the need that would be out there. As believers we are called to do something not to just sit back and watch things happen. I truly want to encourage you to really pray for these orphans and how you could be of help.  

 If you aren't called to adopt then Foster, if you aren't called to Foster then Sponsor, if you can't Sponsor then volunteer, if you can't volunteer, Donate, if you cant Donate Educate.

There are so many ways to get involved I'm sure you know people who have adopted or are in the process or are just fostering. Today give them a call let them know you are praying for them. Ask how you could be of help see what the needs of the children are or even the parents. When we started this whole process are life was so easy and comfortable. I think back and wonder how did we even grow if we didn't have hardships. A lot of people say to me you are amazing, really I am not. I am a broken Mother who has been healed by God I struggle daily. We doubled the size of children in our home and having 3 before well yes that makes 6. But why wouldn't we our Faith is in God and if he is telling us to look after the orphans how can we say no because we want to stay comfortable? Sure we had all the extra's and distractions and it was AWESOME but it wasn't worth it. Having 3 little boys look me in the eye and call me Mommy and say sissy and Daddy to family that loves them is worth it. Yes you are thinking well I have all those extra's does that make me a bad person? NO it doesn't make you a bad person! . Heck  if you have all those things share with your friends who have decided to give them up for  orphans. We have a couple of friends who have blessed us with great time with our children who wouldn't of got to experience other wise. Not having those things was just a decision we made to be able to adopt. If just one family decides from reading this that they can take in 1 orphan well that is OneLESS  orphan. No we can't all save everyone from everything but if you just did one of something to help with someone it is OneLESS. I don't know everyone's situation or what is going on all I do know is we are all capable of loving and there are plenty of children who want it and need it. Could you imagine what it would be like if you were that stepping stone for a child to have a chance? A warm bed to sleep in a home with 3 meals a day and a normal day. A lot of foster and adoptive children have a hard time adapting in a home with less chaos because that is not what they are used to. I always think of my boys and our previous foster children and how they reacted to calm and consistency it was hard and our boys are just now getting used to it. There are so many agencies out there that you can call and see how you can get involved. Maybe a family in the process needs some items for there new placement, or how you can get involved with helping? I hope you can be encouraged today that you ARE able to LOVE and can help these orphans out there. Today I can say we have 3LESS
but still are no better than anyone we just opened our hearts to LOVE the orphan and so can you by many different ways. There are also two organizations that I love that sponsor some needy children. www.worldvision.org and . www.compassion.com These two organizations help out needy children in other countries. With your sponsorship it provides food, water and other necessities. I encourage you to look them up and see if this is something you are able to do. We have been a part of Compassion now for 12 years and have had the same boy Christian this whole time, you get to send letters and they write back and also get pictures of them too. It has been such a blessing to be apart of the compassion ministry. If anything, after this blog I just ask that would just please pray for the orphans and the ones who will become orphans too. You can email me or message me if you want anymore information. All that we do is to Glorify God none of what we do is about us because we can't do this without him.

itries

New Adventure...

You know those life changes that happen the kind that you never might of considered.
Our life change began almost 3 years ago we left our home church been there 7 years as youth leaders.With no reason at all for leaving just felt like it was time for our family not knowing where we would go or attend. Then we found our new church home it felt like this is where we were supposed to be our church home surrounded with loving people accepting us. T.y and I got plugged in right away with the church the people our pastor and his wife. Growing relationships with some amazing people that will be life long. All of you have kept up with us on our crazy life Journey. A calling to Love the orphans and to fully live out for God. We have lost friends, relationships along the way life change isn't always easy for people to accept. Tyler and I have both lived in the same town our  our whole lives with never leaving or planning of moving in sight. A small town where you know everyone and they know you well at least they think they do.
ALL Grand parents in 10 minutes driving range. A support system from our family and some friends  to help out with our kids. 3 years ago we went to visit some good friends of ours and didn't understand why they moved and we spent a couple days with them and on the way home Ty and I both felt like is our hometown where we are going to raise our family forever? And you know what the answer was no and we wanted to see what  God had for us.

                                      So the news is The NAPIER'S are MOVING!!!!
                                        

Tyler was offered a great job , that's right a whole different world from our small town that we are not used to. We have been blessed with  Tyler's job he has worked hard for his way up and has been there 12 years. Leaving a job is never easy especially if you like where you work and he truly does. Then you ask yourselves why would you want to move with a great job and all your family is here? Well why not? We decided we can't let comfort stop us from fulfilling a dream because it will. We have wrestled all of that all the reasons not to do it but it is a dream of ours to be able to move and Tyler will start at a great new job also.  The craziest part is it isn't even more money its actually less but here is the biggest ticker, he will just be a 8-4:30 m-f guy. These past 12 years he has worked every other weekend and been on call. There have been sometimes where he gets called out at all the wrong times but it is just what came with the job. I know there are jobs where that's just how it is but he has put himself out there for the opportunity and he wont be doing that. We don't even know what that is like to have him home on the weekends knowing he wont have to go into work.

 Our lives are beginning to change once again and we are excited scared all of it.I mean we know everyone in this little town well just about. We are embarking on a journey of not knowing anyone yes a small handful of people but that's it.No one will know our story who we are just that we will be new and you know what I really like that.  My girls will be the new kids at school making friends. CHANGE is good, our family will have to rely on each other more than we ever have.Leaving what you only know is not easy. Having to tell close friends and family was hard but having their support is even better.



Now is the time where I am pleading to you for prayer. Our boys adoption is not final and we don't have any clue right now when it will be. There is an appeal in the case that we are waiting on and it is holding the whole process back and this isn't a good thing at all. We could take the boys with us unadopted but will have to start the whole process over there and that is a long process to do over. So after praying and really talking about it. We decided that Tyler will go and the kids and I are staying back for right now.I know it is going to be hard he is going to live with our friends who are totally blessing us by letting him stay there. . We are praying so hard that the appeal is heard before he leaves.  Then we will  know when we can start the adoption process. Ty will come home home every 2 weeks it is a 7 hour drive.We know this is only temporary and are going to make the best of it. Please pray with us on this appeal to be denied and the process getting started we could be waiting for who knows how long they can't give us any answers where the appeal is at in the case. Also please pray  for this Mama and her six kiddos that I can do my best and I am grateful to all my help.       
               I wanted to end with this I think sometimes we stop Dreaming because we feel like it could never be possible but don't stop dreaming God gives you the desires of your heart maybe not exactly how you want but he does. God has always been faithful through our whole journey even in the deepest pits.
                                                    We are going out on faith and trusting in him.

                                                 I encourage you to read Psalms 37: 3-4

                            I could put it down but look it up spend some time in it.

 I hope it  can be encouraging to you today