Beauftiful girls..

 I have been wanting to write this post for a long time. Just really haven't had the time... Funny I know, Mom of five finds hours upon hours to write in blog.. Well today is a pretty day and kids are playing and are happy.

  I have been thinking a lot lately of how fast time goes by especially with having kids. Its like you blink and they are walking and talking and ruling the world in their own way. This brings me to my next thought raising girls.
 We live in a day and age where the world says " you are only as beautiful as you look" That does not go far in my book with girls out there who have the most selfless hearts and willingness to serve Christ, but that isn't beautiful. Being super skinny, wearing name brands, not eating a lot, focusing on always working on you, exercising, surgery's, that's what beautiful is!! It almost makes me so sad knowing my three girls are growing up in a world that tells them that.

 I want my girls to be confident in them selves and with there walk with Christ even if that means they don't blend in with the crowd. My three little girls who will grow up to be someones wife, friend, Mother I want them to know what is most important! That is to not live this life for yourself but to live it serving others. I see how much pressure woman have on there looks and there body its almost shameful what that can do to a poor little girls self esteem. You're only as good as you look! That is what we live in a hollow place with outward appearance most important. If the that woman or girl who just was told that one time God thinks your beautiful and he is what matters. Wow can you think of what a change that would be if half of Girls, and Woman only cared what God thought about them, than what the world does?  Anybody can be breathtaking on the outside but a takes a selfless woman to be breathtaking on the inside also. Remember Mommies your daughters see how much you fret on looks and your weight  they are sponges and soon will think that is whats important!  Without Christ every woman has insecurities. Let him truly be the judge in how you look.
                      "How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful!" 
                                               Songs Of Songs 4:1

If you are able to please read the book Kisses from Katie... Truly an inspiring book from such a young girl who is living the mission with selflessness.  Katie Davis is a beautiful Girl.. 

  

Bonding with Love...

  It has been a while since I have blogged about the crew. It has been a crazy road that's for sure getting to see what works and doesn't work for the family. It has been 4 months since the boys came with us and Wow it has gone by super fast it feels like. Little Ty has seriously done a 180 he is truly a new little man. From coming to us scared and some habits and a yuck yucky blanket that he would chew on. To now not even asking for his blanket to experiencing life the way it should be that he isn't used to. He is a sweet boy who calls me Mommy and you know what? That is the sweetest words coming from him, from calling me Michelle then now to Mommy there are no words to explain it.

       Faith is doing well I can't believe she is going to be 9 years old the time flies by. As I sit here in tears writing about her I think she was my first baby who is now grown to helping me take care of all the other babies. Oh how I love her so!! She is my calming ground she is the second little Mommy in the house that's for sure:)

  Averee she is getting to be such the comedian She say's things off the top her head and I think I can't even respond to that because inside I am laughing so hard. She is finding her place that's for sure with having new siblings and where her voice fits in. I sometimes struggle with guilt about that for her already being the middle child but she is finding her way in a good balance. She is the first one to want to make the baby stop crying and help him that's for sure.


    Lola well her name says it all. Since getting the boys the world hasn't stopped in her eyes. If she has something she want's you to hear, see or say! She will let you know. Someone told me one time She is like a 17 year old migit...lol She is my Lola and I love to hear her say "I love my Bubba's" aka, the boys.


Now for the little Man..... He is now 5 months old and only 9 pounds he has come a long way since bringing him home at 4 pounds. His weight is now at a stand still and we are waiting for Madera's children hospital to call for hopefully a surgery date. We found out he has Pyloric Stynosis. Its a muscle that is opening and closing around his stomach. So when he eats sometimes it can make it through, other times not. Which causes him to vomit it all back up through the nose the whole bit. Now for the weird part only 3 out 1,000 babies get this and we have had 2. Our other baby that we had Elijah he had it also. Crazy right? What are the odds. So now we are just waiting.to hear what happens next. This little guy has been through so much the day he started growing he has had things in his system that no one could ever fathom. This thing that is in his system is a black selfless thing that sucks the life out of you. I know because I see what it is doing to their Mother. This thing causes him to scream non stop to the point where you have to put him in another room to cry it out and wait til he falls asleep. It causes him to be so stiff that any kind of loving touch or soft gentle kiss makes him flinch or scream. He doesn't want you to hold him and cuddle him because that's too much touch and stimulation  for him. I purchased an ergo baby carrier and that has been a God send. He hates it at first and he will fall asleep on my chest I can feel his cheeks with the sound of him sucking his pacifier. When he is like this I cherish it because I want nothing more than to bond with him Mommy to son and let him feel love and hear my heart beating. I have had him since the day he came from the hospital and held his tiny little fingers and kissed his tiny little face not know what was ahead. You hear people say things for babies like him but you don't know for yourself what your getting into. What's the hardest thing is none of this is his fault I remind my self and kids of this daily when we he has crying spurts for hours on end. We have all learned how to cope with it and it has made us closer in all of us helping in those times. I don't take my healthy children for granted that's for sure. Seeing how I have had 3 healthy easy babies and never dealing with any of this. I am grateful he is with us and no where else so the times he is screaming or just not happy at least he is in our care and home and we are the ones to be blessed enough to help him through it. I don't know when this will pass, it is day to day. I pray for him that he gets better. He started smiling one month ago exactly he is now focusing on your face when you talk to him. He has a moment for the day when he smiles and is calm. I wanted to share his pictures with you. I wanted to capture these moments to remind my self in the hard ones. He is my precious little man and I am going to love him through the hardest times even when I feel like I can't.

 Now for Ty and I this has been the hardest thing we have ever done. Someone very dear to me said "The first six months will rock your world" Well its a rock'n and we are getting through it with each other I don't know what I would do with out him and his support he is an amazing man and I couldn't see doing this with anyone else. Honestly we're a circus but a Christ centered Circus and we do this for Him and Him alone.

Friends Forever.....

       

  I am writing about the middles in our family. Tyler and Averee, now they are both five and only nine days apart. When Tyler first came with us it was a transition for everyone including Tyler. 

It hit most for Averee

a boy coming to live in the home who is the same exact age as her. Now that says I am going to check you out and watch everything you do. Oh boy did she! The two were like cats and dogs trying to figure each other out. Averee always micromanaging Tyler and Tyler being very in tolerant of Averee. Well what a 180 there has been in our house. These two are inseparable they are always playing and if you want to know where the other one is "oh" they're with each other. They both sit in the back of the car and let me tell you what a blessing it is to hear Tyler laugh it is the sweetest thing to my ear. Averee is always doing something that he thinks is hilarious. They have a built in best friend. Now everyday is not perfect and they have there moments but I have to say they reached that level that they truly have grown to love each other as brother and sister and friends. They love unconditionally don't care where the other one came from just that they love the other one just because..  Last thing they get in trouble together also just like today for instance they wanted me to see their new trick. Well they went on Tyler's bed and Averee put Tyler on her back and said "they were like Rio the bird and Tyler didn't know how to fly so she was helping him!!" Yes they jumped off the bed with Tyler still on Averee's back... It was all I could do to not scream..

Loving Others....

 Well it has been a while since I last blogged. We are a busy family now going from 5 to 7 overnight. Things have changed for us that's for sure, some good some hard. We are growing each day with each other learning something new each day and seeing God's work at hand we these little boys. Our girls are doing well, they love their new siblings and they all act like it that's for sure. The bossiness and telling on each other that's the same.They love these boys as their own brothers and haven't blinked twice to show it. Good and bad..lol  Ty and I are getting the grips of managing ship with 5 little people. Without going on for detail to detail I will share just what has been going on here at the Napier casa. Thanksgiving was wonderful having the boys to share it with. Tyler is in school with Averee they are in the same class and are doing well with that. It's weird having two 5 year olds 9 days apart. He adjusted so good to school. He learned to ride a bike for the first time and now can all by himself that was so great to watch. He is learning to adjust to this life he has never experienced anything like it. This Christmas we felt so blessed to have him with us to experience with him all the things he has never done or had. He is a sweet boy and is so smart, sometimes I think for reasons he shouldn't have to be. The baby is doing great growing and just needs a little help with sleeping....... He is very precious though. My kiddos want to hold him every second they can and there a lot of little dirty hands around here. Now that being said these are all new changes and we are getting by learning how to deal with every new one we come across. We already get the looks from people thinking we are crazy but we knew that would happen. I have to tell you what amazing God we serve because he has been here in it this whole time getting us through in the hardest times. When we noticed things are not like they used to be and we get out of our comfort zone. Having this chaos of a circus in our family is definitely different. I originally said in this process we would not take a baby older than one. Well that was not what God had planned for us. When I told my girlfriend that we are getting a five year old, I thought how crazy it is because that's not we thought we would of wanted, and her words stuck with me like glue!! She said  "Well he doesn't want you either... he wants his mom." Boy was she right and I needed to hear that from then on I asked God to change my heart and let me be open to this journey we are about to go on. This little guy has taught me so much already about how life isn't about being in your comfort zone its getting out of it to really love on others... Yeah sure its fine to bring in a baby and love on them because they don't speak or do annoying things that they have been raised with. Older kids talk back and tell you how they are feeling and bringing that into your life is change because sometimes you have to hear what has happened to them and to know it breaks you DOWN!! Children shouldn't have to know or live like that. God tells us to love on the orphans but not by our standards or what we want to do. You love God and love others all the way. Now the other part of this journey is their Mom. We are feeling very compelled that this just isn't about these boys it's loving it's their Mom also. Yeah sure if you knew the things that went on any normal person would say forget it. But that's just it we were not called to be normal we were called to be different. There Mom needs love and God in her life and how else will she see it if we choose to just forget her. She needs so much prayer. I ask that you would pray for her. She leads a very sad life with a lot of bad decisions along the way. She needs the love and stability just as much as her boys do.

This circus that's going on in our lives right now I will tell you I love every minute of it. I can honestly say all my life that I have never felt "accomplished" because I didn't finish college and no college degree to speak of. This greater calling God has me in to be a Mother not only to my own biological kids but to other children from God is what I know I am supposed to be doing. Loving God and Loving others and being Mom.. I cry as I write this because saying it out loud is a huge moment for me at 29 I am doing what God has called me to do and for that I am over abundantly blessed.  So as the start of this new year we will see what God has in store for our family. I challenge those of you who read this "How can you love others who you don't think deserve it? Well, God does!!!

                                                                Micah 6:8 
                                                              Do justice, Love mercy, walk humbly with our God.

 Very first day meeting each other<3  Col 3;12

                                                                           Much Love, Michelle.

The journey starts again....

              That call came!! The call that we said yes too. It has been 5 months since we said yes to our last buddy boy as Lola would call him. Then he was given back to Mom. So during these 5 months we have had a lot of growing in this Napier household. Learning of not taking things for granted and loving unconditional, Ty and realizing that we can do it with four what makes 5 or 6 yes I said it we will hopefully one day have that:) Biggest learning lesson It isn't about us at all. That everything we do, live for is for Him, GOD! SO  here we go again not knowing  what will happen but we know what we are doing what we should. Our family is going from 5 to 7. We are getting a 5 year old who's name is Tyler, can you believe it Tyler he is 9 days older then Averee to the date:) Also we are getting his little brother from the hospital in 2  to 3 weeks who is in nicu getting stronger and was born at 3 1/2 pounds at 32 weeks. So our world is changing yet again:) Ty and I went to see Courages on Friday and Wow what a movie for us to see at this time. It is about making a impact in someones life no matter if they are yours or for keep or not to keep them. That's just what we pray to do make an impact on these 2 little people who are about to come into our family.    So I ask if you could keep our family in your prayers.

Love the Napiers:) Philippians 2-3

Crazy Love.. Part 2

  So here it is the part when I said we know we have to take it day by day.. Well that day came July 18th. It was the jurisdiction hearing for Elijah to see if he would go back to his parents. I can't even tell you the feeling of all day I am just so thankful I did not go. Ty went and I stayed home with the kids and Elijah. During the day I would pray God give me strength and take my worries. I mean I was thinking a part of me yes he could go back but why would he? This was Mom's 9th child and she did not have any of her others. all though Elijah's older sibling who is a year and a half was in the la county system and they were trying to get him back because he was just in foster care. So me like everyone else even the social workers did not think he would be going back that he would be up for adopting which we wanted. So that day I spent literally holding him all day and just taking the moment in with him and the girls allowing them to feed him and change him and give him a bath. I didn't even want to wash his crib sheets that morning because I thought to my self, well Im going to jinx it I can just wash them tomorrow after his nap. It was 4:24 pm and it was Ty I stared at Elijah and Ty said this' There is no easy way of saying this but the judge found no neglect and he is going back! I literally sobbed no joke! I could not even believe what I just heard. I found out that I needed to get him ready and get all his clothes and the bag he came with and meet a county worker who will take him to his parents. So I called my girls in and put them all on my lap and had to tell them that Elijah was going back to his parents. Now mind you we never told them it was a done deal they knew everyday we would pray that he could stay with us. Faith and Averee and I all cried together. Averee asked if we could see him that weekend and visit him. I had to tell her it we could not. I told Lola who is 2 That Elijah had to leave and her voice just killed me when she looked at him and said  No Mommy. I know she didn't really understand but to hear that was Wow! So I got all of his stuff together that he came with the girls all kissed him so tightly and said they loved him and so did his Mimi that was there who took the girls while I handled all of the stuff. I drove Elijah to meet the county worker and Ty at our meeting spot. I couldn't even see while driving and he was so quiet in the car not even asleep just his happy self. I met Ty and saw the social worker and county worker and I knew this was really happening. I got him out of the car and Ty got all of his stuff and I held him so tight and kissed him more than I think I ever have and put him in the infant seat. I looked at him and remembered every second and kissed him one last time and smelled him so I could not forget and the stinker smiled at me... He having no clue to what was going on.... Ty just the same with his goodbyes and trying to be strong for me.. So that is a version in a nutshell.. So it has been two weeks and Wow what a work God has done in on our family... We are now capable of loving like we never thought we could that this family is a strong bunch. God is good under all circumstances.. Now you are probably thinking how could that judge do that.. Well this is what Ty and I believe we do not think it was God's will for Elijah to go back to his parents. God gives us free will and we all make choices with that. And that day was the Judge's free will and choice to give him back to the parents. But I will tell you this  I know who the ultimate judge is.. Our family is doing good we all have moment in this when we will talk and say we miss him. We have come to realize that Elijah needed us and God placed him with us and we loved him like our own and cherished every bit of it. I am so proud of my girls in how well they did with him and even now how they are doing knowing they are so lucky to have even got the time with him like we did. We went away last week on a family vacation and it was a real blessing because we could get away and enjoy one another and not fret on what just happened and God blessed us with a great time. While I had  some time to myself I was reading in my bible this:

James 1:2-5 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance, perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and not lacking anything!  That showed me that our work was Elijah and our faith was tested when he left and we trusted God the whole way through. God showed us that this isn't about us it is about our faith and serving him and that is just what we did we cared for that orphan just as God said to do.. To get to this point was hard because my own selfish ways came in.. The whole well he should be with us and his quality of life will not be the same. So I give that to God and ask that he watch over Elijah and keep him close. I am thankful that Elijah was not older and attached to us I am thankful that I get the feeling his parents truly love him they are just on the road to know how to parent well.  I am proud on the fact that we were able to give him back to his parents healthy and we did that, nursed him back to health and love. He got love from so many people and prayers that he may have never had before. We know that this was a life changing experience for the better and we Thank God for that and showing us. God is Good. I wanted to share my new tattoo and that I felt more strongly about getting one then ever. Here it is  Crazy Love for the Crazy Love we have for God and this process. The pink heart around the e is for Elijah and the blue heart is Ty and the pink is the girls and I to remind me of why we do what we do...and my tattoo could grow with other hearts. So you probably thinking Why would you do this again and we say Why not? There may be another Elijah who needs us and can stay or one who can't but God has a plan in everything and we trust him. Thank you to all of you guys with your kind words and encouragement I have taken that so close to my heart and we are so blessed with amazing family and friends!!

Crazy Love!!

Crazy Love!!

 Ok I know it has been a while since I last blogged. Things have been a little busy obviously. I wanted to share our journey so far and what we have been going through. Well He is here that's right precious baby boy who looks me in the eyes and melts the hearts of everyone in this family. Two and half weeks ago we left in the morning knowing we were going to pick him up the most weirdest feeling you could ever imagine. For all Moms out there you go to the hospital pregnant and know you are coming home with the baby but this is such a different feeling. That morning I was sick to my stomach with emotions knowing we were coming home with a little baby who I have never seen just heard about. What was I going to do when I first see him? will I think he's cute will I feel no connection. So we made all the stops that morning to all baby items stores to get the essentials for what he would need. I looked at my watch seriously every ten minutes knowing at 12 a clock we were going to pick him up. After lunch it was time we head over there and Ty and I pulled in the parking lot and I said to Ty you need to talk to me or I am going to pass out with every emotion known possible. Knowing 15 feet away in 10 minutes I was going to meet him. So Ty and I video taped each other just so he can watch it when he is older and know what we were doing that morning and what we were feeling. Ty starts to film me and I sob like a baby the tears just flowed then poor Ty started to also. It was 12:30 and it was all I could do but not stare at the doors waiting for him to come through the doors with his emergency placement Mom. Then it was him, He was asleep and He had the cutest face I have ever seen he was so comfortable and happy. I cried with such joy and thanked God for this moment. She put him on the table and Ty and I walked up to him and I did not know what to do. So I picked him out of his seat and just held him so close. We went to the car and I fed him his bottle so nervously because I have never done bottles before so I did not know the proper way to do things. Ty drove and I sat in the back seat with him on the way home and examined every part of Him. Just staring at him and wondering what He came from and what this adventure will be like with him. So it was time there were three little girls anxiously waiting at home with there Grandma Suzette who was on pins and needles the whole day with all other family and friends. I walked in and there precious faces were priceless they all said he was so cute. So now we are a family of six he blends so well with our family, heck He even kind of looks like the girls. We have been told that a couple times. He is such a gentle soul, he laughs when his sisters jump in the air he smiles when you talk to him and he loves his feeding times:). Now don't think this is just a walk in the park because this is the most craziest thing we have ever done. This house is now a full blown circus with an act going 24/7 I either am changing a diaper consoling someone or disciplining. There is a for sure change and adjustment the whole family is going through but with God's help we are all in this together. My girls have been the biggest troopers through all of this from sharing there Daddy and I  between the 3 of them now they share us with someone else some else they have never met or barely know. As I am typing this 3 out of the for are crying someone doesn't want to go to bed the other one is hungry and someone wants to be held. I will be back... Break..... Alright  back and chaos is calmed down I will say we get the looks and are you crazy but I will say this. Yes we are crazy in a CRAZY LOVE for God and even though this is hard and we will have times that we want to pull our hair out it is 100% worth it my friends:) I am so in love with this little guy that it makes it that much harder for the unknown. The unknown being until that judge say's he's yours even though that's the way it is looking you just have to take this day by day. Ty said the most powerful thing to me "Michelle The Rewards of this outweigh the risks" So true... He is a blessing to our family and brings so much joy :)