It has been a long time since I have written in my blog,
hence the six kids, a husband, sports and just life in general. This morning I
felt compelled to write. I was thinking back to five years ago and where our
family was. Just Ty and I and our three young girls who were 8, 5, 2. Life was
just simple and we did things as we pleased, vacationed as we wanted and I
hosted parties and dinners at my home often. During that season of life we were
simply sailing and our biggest test was when we were going to take our trailer
out or when our next Disneyland trip was. But in February of that year Ty and I
felt it was time to leave our home church, for no specific reason at all. There
was nothing wrong just time for us to leave. Tyler and I had been a huge part
of the church and Tyler headed up the youth group for almost 7 years, we loved
that church and everyone in it, yet something was just changing in us. We
started our new church we are at now and everything in us changed. Adoption
came into our life. I never really thought of adoption, it wasn't something I
wanted since I was a little girl and knew I would always do it. It just
wouldn't leave my mind. There were two people in this church that had just
joined the foster/adoption community. Long story short I knew this was a
feeling that I could simply shake off knew I was called to do this, my husband
not so much. Ty at first didn’t feel the same way I did about it. I just asked
him to pray about it and he did. We didn't talk about it much but I continued
to pray about it. Then one day Ty told me he was ready for me to call the agency
and let's do this. I was so naive not and didn’t have a clue what we were about
to walk into. We just thought we were going to adopt a tiny baby and save the
world. Boy do I wish I had someone there to really kick the living air out of
us to really show us what we were about to endure. We told all our family and
friends some had positive reactions and some did not. I get it, adoption is
either one of two things “Wow you guys are amazing” or “You are crazy”. Either
way we had no clue what we were getting into we just trusted God to lead us. So
that year we welcomed a three month old little boy and loved him. He was so
precious and the girls loved playing with him. Then 5 weeks later there was a
mix up in his case and he went back to his parents. That little boy should have
never been removed in the first place. Either way we were so crushed. Ty went
to court and he called me to break the news and the girls and I had 15 minutes
to say good bye. How do you say goodbye to something you have fallen in love
with in 15 minutes. You can already guess what that looked like for all of us.
Not a good day in the books for at the Napier's. Remember I said, we were
naive we had no clue about the system and how it all worked but we were getting
to see what it was like. I mean we were ready to take this little boy as our
own and love him. So we were fragile to say the least. Five months later we get
a call for a 5 year old little boy and a brand new baby who was still being
cared for at the NICU and still going through with-drawls. Ok God we will say
yes even though we just signed those adoption papers for one baby. Wow just wow
those two little boys entered our lives and we just did life, the hard, the good
the bad and the ugly. A year with them and and working so hard to get the baby
through 16 hours of screaming, night sweats being comfortable and a 5 year old
who now had a new family to be with. Three little girls who were just loving
these boys and had taken a back seat to what was normal to them with just Mom
and Dad. That year was full of “firsts” for this five year old. Disneyland, the
beach, family bbq's, water parks, a family and a real birthday party. Being
able to see a child see things for the first time is something you can't
explain. Most of us take for granted what we introduce our kids to even the
littlest things like the park that has swings. A birthday party with family and
cousins was too much because he had never had one. But yet to us that was
normal but to him not normal at all. That year will be one we will never
forget. God had other plans for them because they went back to a family member
out of state. That goodbye was one we still don't talk about much because it
was too much for humans to process or understand. A goodbye that you knew was
permanent. Our church family came to say goodbye our friends and family came
out to say goodbye. Everyone there knew why they were there but kept the great
face to be there for us and that sweet little boy and his baby brother. A lot
of praying happened and no sleep was had, that next day we said our last
goodbyes. A lot to read I know sometimes I forget we did that. Well we were
done adopting or whatever we were trying to do. How could we put our kids
through that anymore and ourselves. Six months later after hard, hard days and
getting back to life. A phone call changed our lives forever. Three little boys
were in need of a home and we were the last on the list before they were going
to have to split them. She was having a hard time placing three boys in one
homer. I get it, three is hard and at one time. We said yes and our lives have
never been the same since, with the good and bad. Those three boys are ours and
these three years have shaped and molded all of us into ways most people might
never get to. We have been stripped to our core with emotions, life changes and
everyday changes. Our three girls love like no one I have ever met. Our three
boys have changed our hearts for the better even on the days we doubt our every
move. Our family has had to come together so tight through very hard
circumstances. I know people look at us and think why would we got through all
of this and say well you chose this. You are right, we chose do to this because
if it's not us then who? I couldn't even imagine where my three boys would be
if not here with us. Yes adding three more children to your family is pure
crazy. I will tell you this, our girls lead the whole way to our boys being
here they would never want it to be any other way. At the beginning when there
were hiccups and we got scared the girls would say it’s better to have them
here to love them then to not have them here at all if they go back. Five years
of stories, lessons and many memories all because we said yes to something
bigger than us. Thank you to everyone who has been a part of our story and that
loves our family well. Say yes to something bigger than you because there is
always a bigger and better plan with it.
Much Love,
Michelle
XOXO
